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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

Jack Flanders 09-30-2005 03:38 PM

here's something for all you ze monkeys[IMG]

you only need to open one attatchment they're the same image :D

Jack Flanders 09-30-2005 04:23 PM

[b]Become a Better Liar

1) First of all, minimize your lies.
-If you lie all the time. people will never believe you.

2) Try to cry while you're lying.
-Everyone believes someone who's crying.

3) Always swear to god.
-Not God with a "G"...you'll be punished severely! Little "g" god can mean
Zeus or Poseidon or Money.

4) Emphasize each word.
-(e.g. I....SWEAR....TO....gOD!!!)

5) Break something (a dish or vase)
-If you detect that the listener is even remotely doubting you.

6) Always say: "Ask so-and-so. They'll back me up on this."
-Be sure to name your best friend, though. Best friends always side with
you whether you're lying or not.

7) Plan out your lie ahead of time.
-Never ad lib, you'll stutter.

8) Never stutter!!

9) Don't take chances on lies that can be easily researched.

10) Stick to your lie NO MATTER WHAT!!!

11) Try going to law school.

You can make good money, too!

bealeblues 09-30-2005 04:48 PM

damn. i've only used #11. guess that's why i never get away with anything.

smellyrayzin 09-30-2005 06:49 PM


Jack Flanders 09-30-2005 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bealeblues
damn. i've only used #11. guess that's why i never get away with anything.

funny thing is i thought of you when i read this list.

Avalon 10-02-2005 03:08 PM

this pic always make me laugh

NimbleMarmoset 10-03-2005 05:11 PM

the definite answer

edited: to protect innocent eyes

Jack Flanders 10-03-2005 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NimbleMarmoset
the definite answer

edited: to protect innocent eyes

OMG!!! :D :D :D :D

He's kind of cute! I mean his face. ;)

priceyfatprude 10-04-2005 03:30 AM

Me, to Wolfgang: Get your furry little ass out here & poop!

My mom: Who are you talking to?

Me, stifling a laugh: The DOG!!!

Jack Flanders 10-04-2005 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NimbleMarmoset
the definite answer

edited: to protect innocent eyes

Looks like this got "covered up"!

trisherina 10-09-2005 01:24 PM

"John Joly of Dublin strenuously insisted well into the 1930s that the Earth was no more than eighty-nine million years old, and was stopped only then by his own death."

-- Bill Bryson

Frieda 10-12-2005 06:52 AM


trisherina 10-13-2005 01:37 AM

You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an average-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 X 1018 joules of potential energy -- enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point.

-- Bill Bryson

xfox 10-13-2005 10:51 AM

Alcor in Phoenix for a good ol' fashion October creep feeling. Better to laugh!

NimbleMarmoset 10-13-2005 01:59 PM



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