(My granny told me not to talk with strangers unless they're interesting and/or hot and that I should make my own explosives, such that my studies weren't for naught and all that....)
You: how do you feel about carrot cake?
Stranger: its nice
You: with or without cream cheese frosting?
Stranger: its awesome
You: baking one now
You: just the thing for spring
You: you do need carrots though
Stranger: do you have a life?
You: why would you ask that?
Stranger: answer it please
You: you'll have to explain what you mean
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: did you hear that?
Stranger: my mommy said not to talk to strangers
You: the silence
You: it means the shelling's stopped
Stranger: lolz ru a turtle?
You: i m so not
Stranger: but ur shell stopped
third time, the charm
You: ever use this before?
You: anything more interesting than this happen?
Stranger: A lot of people will spam you.
Stranger: Some people will ask random questions.
Stranger: but mostly yeah, this.
You: that seems reasonable
Stranger: Sometimes people will spontaneously roleplay. My friend tried to get me to do that, but eh.
You: what time of day is it where you are?
Stranger: 6 PM
You: i've never roleplayed
You: i suspect it would make me laugh too much to type
You: it is 7 pm here
Stranger: I see.
You: well, i'm pretty much all out of questions
You: oh i have one more
You: where did you see this application?
Stranger: On livejournal.com
Stranger: on a fandom community.
You: can i ask fandom of what?
Stranger: ....Axis Powers Hetalia
Stranger: I find it a bit embarassing to talk about
Stranger: but since it's anonymous here...
You: i find it a bit embarrassing that i can only vaguely guess it must be a game?
Stranger: No, it's a webcomic
You: oh good grief what a bonehead
You: sorry about that
You: well de gustibus non est disputandum and all that
You: i was linked to it on a message board
You: well i must get dinner on
You: thank you for the polite conversation
You: (people are not always polite to strangers)
Stranger: take care
It was completely hilarious. But I've re-thought posting the whole thing. Suffice it to say it was a conspiracy theorist.
I'm afraid to do it again. :D
Why do I get the strong feeling that I was actually talking to Zero?
You: Hi there
Stranger: Ok back now...
Stranger: you were saying?
You: what does brb mean?
Stranger: Alright, back now - brb=be right back
You: it sounds like a surreal kind of babble
You: ah - the generations between us I guess
Stranger: ok..back in the saddle now..
Stranger: so whats new?
You: what's so busy now?
You: you are funny
Stranger: ok...here again....
Stranger: who are you again? damn..
You: I'm flabbergasted :-)
You: I miss you already
Stranger: Ok...this is crazy...you were sayin...DAMN...
Stranger: Another day another dollar...back again...
Stranger: so how the hell are yo...brb
You: you know, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship
Stranger: ok...this is crazy
Stranger: hi :)
You: I haven't laughed so hard all morning, and I've only been up for five minutes
Stranger: oh..its you
You: hi there
Stranger: Ok...things seem to be in order again....where were we?
You: okay, I'm going to stay here until you reveal something personal and then I'm going to abandon you
Stranger: Oh...no..you're kidding me..brb
You: sort of but I'm open to change
Stranger: Yes...mmmhmm..I see..you don't say...shit brb...ok I'm back now...brb...back now
You: wait - do you hear a phone ringing?
You: your life is full of variety
Stranger: Ok..that was quick. What's new?
You: phone - chat phone chat- no wait - phone...I could talk to myself i guess
Stranger: Ok back now...
You: but now the suspense is killing me
You: uh huh
Stranger: wait..wait..don't answer that..
You: what's a/s/l?
Stranger: finally...where were we?
You: and while we're at it, what's the meaning of life?
Stranger: can you believe....my phone is ringing.... b to the r to the b
Stranger: Hi my brother...new around here?
Stranger: whoops brb
You: this is a beautiful example of - oh, brb
Stranger: Hello? hello? hello?
Stranger: Jesus my cock is itchy...
You: you are so popular can I be your - oh now seriously, MY phone is ringing.
Stranger: FINE...I can't put up waiting for you ALL DAY!
That was hilarious. And demoralizing. Could not engage - WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??? :D :D :D
You: hi random stranger
You: how are you today?
You: that's great
Stranger: i guess
You: well you could be herbaceous
Stranger: i guess
Stranger: do you like witches?
You: black or white?
Stranger: black is better
You: so they tell me
Stranger: i hope so
You: yeah I got nothing against witches
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
oh my goodness
Stranger: say hi
You: no you say hi
You: say it!
Stranger: i did, just had a say in front
You: say hi!
You: hola and bonjour
Stranger: oshikuru is not for kids
You: all I can think of it "kamikaze"
Stranger: japanese sci fi moby dick
You: neither is - well what direction shall we go in?
You: brainwash liver specks
Stranger: up or down, up to you
You: word association's working for me maybe?
Stranger: putt-putt saves teh zoo
You: gravel babies die quickly
Stranger: unreal freddie fish in dry cereal
You: tonight I save enough pennies to go to the arcade and then whoopsies daisies
You: you're fun
Stranger: daisy ran over myrtle with gatsby's car
You: oh no there goes the neighborhood
Stranger: my girlfriend doesn't think so
You: fair enough fly man
Stranger: i'm no fun at all
You: I disagree
Stranger: i'm considering killing myself
You: you are monster fun
Stranger: you think so?
You: oh well, do try to put that off for as long as possible
You: yes, sure you're fun
You: are you serious about ...?
Stranger: thank you, i might not kill myself now
Stranger: i was, but if random strangers find me fun then there might be hope for me
You: hey, no real reason to because life changes pretty quickly
You: well you are fun
You: how old are you
You: I wanted to do that when I was 19 but I'm glad I didn't
You: really really glad
Stranger: did things get better?
You: for one thing everyone will be really mad at you if you do
You: of course it got better
Stranger: no one would notice if i was gone
You: anyone who's suicidal doesn't have the whole picture yet
You: I know what you mean.
You: but here's my secret:
You: you can pretend to die and start over.
Stranger: as in fake my death and move somewhere else?
You: or go do a bunch of wild stuff like sky diving or
You: well, fake your death - that's an option for sure
You: but why put family through that?
Stranger: that could be fun
Stranger: i don't have a family
Stranger: my parents died when i was 4
You: I mean die to all your own desires, spend your time helping other people and then you'll have people who care about you
You: sorry about the parents.
You: that sucks
Stranger: they were druggies anyway
You: well, sounds like youve got the inside track on what it's like to not have family.
You: bet there are lots of others out there who might need you
You: who don't have family either, you know?
Stranger: i guess
You: anyway, life is way too cool - stuff changes in an instant
You: it's just hard to deal w/ the loneliness
Stranger: yeah that's why i come on here
Stranger: no one who knows me wants to talk to me
You: then be a listener for a while.
Stranger: that's all i do
Stranger: sit and listen, but no one cares what i have to say
You: somebody told me once - look, you can always off yourself next week, or anytime you want. do something fun until then
You: what do you want to say?
You: do you write stuff down?
Stranger: yeah, but when people see it they make fun of me
You: that probably means they're just dicks
You: once you get to college, you find out that there are a whole lot of people who feel the same way you do
Stranger: gay like me?
Stranger: that's why everyone makes fun of me
You: people who laugh at your jokes
You: some of the most fun people I know are gay, are you kidding?
Stranger: yeah but it's highschool
Stranger: no one accepts it
You: I know. it sucks
You: but it's over soon
You: and then there's a huge world out there
You: are you in the Bible belt or something?
Stranger: that what?
You: the Bible Belt - the South - Texas, etc.
Stranger: no i'm in minnesota
You: just grit your teeth, tell yourself what idiots they are and then get your revenge by living well
Stranger: i'll try that
Stranger: just make it through a few more years
Stranger: then things will look up
You: because believe me, nobody will give a shit if you kill yourself. that's what I had to come to terms with
You: it's YOUR life, you know?
You: You're the one who will care if you die or not.
You: and me too :-)
Stranger: yeah if i want to i can turn it around
You: of course you can
You: what's the worst that's happened so far?
You: I mean, you know, besides the um whole "no parents" thing
Stranger: the wrestling team caught me masturbating to gay porn in the school once
You: LOL - bad timing :-)
Stranger: i had to change schools i couldn't take the harassment any more
You: how did that work out?
Stranger: had to leave what few friends i had behind
You: want to do word association again?
Stranger: headphone diaper burger
You: freebie do that thiing
You: wonderschloss Spielburg tunes
Stranger: printmaster activity insructioncs
You: hovercraft in the bellybutton
You: not everyone can do that you know
Stranger: ditto onto during gotta yoyo
Stranger: i like to put things in my bellybutton
You: you're good at this - you should go into advertising
You: totebag summer fling lacrosse doohickkey
Stranger: spy fox soccer balled barbie
You: barbie wants a cookie
Stranger: cookies make me happy in the pants
You: okay. are you going to be okay, stranger?
Stranger: i think i will
Stranger: thanks to you
You: I'll be thinking about you for a long time
Stranger: i think you've changed my life
You: somewhere you have someone who thinks you're great
Stranger: before this i wasn't feeling so good about myself
You: I think you're great
You: you'll find other people who think you're great, I promise
Stranger: but i have to go eat now
You: watch for them. take care
Stranger: yeah bye, thanks again
"i have to go eat now."
a good sign, right?
Hoooo-kay, new question of the day:
How are you emotionally different from the person you were that everyone knew in grade school and junior high?
far less volatile.
I used to be less emotional and more hopeful.
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