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MoJoRiSin 12-03-2013 03:12 AM

You used to look forward to walking to the end of the driveway and getting the mail, why'd you stop?

Well he did post that one image, after sleeping on it, it gave me hope.

funkytuba 12-16-2013 05:00 PM

What was your response to Santa's blog?

Tight around the neck, loose in the crotch.

Hyakujo's Fox 12-17-2013 07:23 AM

How do feel when you have to speak in public?

Mostly crinkly.

Brynn 02-18-2014 06:57 PM

Describe your smile, please?

Not much, unless you count the prank calls.

funkytuba 02-19-2014 08:12 PM

To what extent has your ex violated the restraining order?

He did something dastardly with a fence.

brightpearl 02-25-2014 10:32 PM

Why did they arrest Knuckles Malone? As far as I knew, he was just a fine upstanding pawn shop proprietor...

I know it seems like a small thing, but even if I never have to see another can of cling peaches again, it will be too soon.

funkytuba 02-26-2014 11:58 PM

So you're saying The Presidents of the United States of America based their song on you?

Yeah, there he goes being obvious again. Kinda wants to make you want to hit him.

Hyakujo's Fox 04-15-2014 10:24 AM

Isn't that Captain Obvious, the new superhero who just goes around giving obvious advice on everyone's problems?

Volume K of the 1983 edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and a warm lettuce.

funkytuba 08-06-2014 04:08 PM

What's an ideal "boring night in" for a Galapagos tortoise?

A wrist brace, fifteen meters of soft hemp rope and a largish unicycle.

brightpearl 08-06-2014 11:11 PM

So what did Reverend Thistlethwaite bring to the ladies' luncheon potluck?

Bigger than a kiwi fruit but smaller than an aardvark. And not as hairy as either one.

funkytuba 08-08-2014 04:14 PM

I'm thinking about using the leftovers from last month's turkey in the back of the fridge. Can you give me some idea of its quantity and relative freshness?

Now that I'm 42 I really wish I'd get a pass on that.

brightpearl 08-08-2014 07:50 PM

What's life's greatest question?

I can't -- there's too much gum stuck to that parking lot.

funkytuba 08-08-2014 09:19 PM

Dude, can show me that wicked double ollie you did? It was over a bull and a sapling, right?

It's a question of asking the right questions.

Brynn 08-09-2014 08:59 PM

How did the interview with Alex Trebeck go?

I would have if the light had been dimmer.

funkytuba 08-19-2014 02:54 PM

Did you get pissed when the 2yo with the flashlight decided that people needed more light in their eyes?

It was a corner of an edge of a boundary, but it was still there.

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