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Odbe 12-28-2006 07:24 PM

What if I said I was sitting outside your window, watching you type, with a tranquiliser dart gun trained on your neck?

Anything for a bucket of ants.

Hyakujo's Fox 12-28-2006 07:52 PM

What would an armadillo hooker do?

A rake, fifty dollars and a Welsh-English dictionary.

Brynn 12-31-2006 04:33 AM

What's your secret to "hot monogamy"?

It all looks so different from the eighty-ninth floor.

trisherina 12-31-2006 04:45 AM

Why did you just drop that squid?

A mug of something hot with lemon.

funkytuba 01-02-2007 12:03 AM

what did the Pinellas County sergeant get when he asked the vice squad so send him over a report on the night's takings?

his lost childhood smeared over a pomegranite

craig johnston 01-02-2007 07:47 AM

what are you going to call the first part of your autobiography?

it works on many levels

priceyfatprude 01-04-2007 04:44 AM

what do you hope about an elevator in a very tall building?

making meatballs at 2 in the morning.

funkytuba 01-04-2007 04:47 AM

how did the incomniac carnivore spend her evenings?

a very large grey squirrel. very large.

priceyfatprude 01-04-2007 04:49 AM

Who was responsible for getting your cat pregnant?

2 Live Crew.

craig johnston 01-04-2007 08:51 AM

what was found in the wreckage?

be excellent to everyone, and party on dude!

funkytuba 01-05-2007 04:35 PM

What's a random line from a movie that will leave most people stymied for a question to which it would be an answer?

No really, let me.... I insist

priceyfatprude 01-05-2007 05:06 PM

Who wants the last piece of Chocolate Volcano Cake?

Gwen Stefani.

craig johnston 01-05-2007 06:22 PM

can you sum up all the evils of this world in just two words?

tuba stymied me

Hyakujo's Fox 01-06-2007 09:53 AM

What finally ended your attempt to build a classical orchestra completely out of matchsticks?

Truth and Buns.

craig johnston 01-06-2007 11:38 AM

what do you look for in a prospective wife?

not with a bang, but a whimper

trisherina 01-06-2007 01:36 PM

How did your Yorkie go when you sprinkled gunpowder in her food?

A big kiss and a hug.

FJeff 01-08-2007 02:50 PM

What could possibly worsen being stuck in an elevator with an incontinent Bill O'Reilly?

Yes, but one would then have to ban Silly String, and most Las-Vegas entertainment.

craig johnston 01-09-2007 09:25 AM

should the government be run on amish principles?

a horse's head in his bed.

funkytuba 01-11-2007 03:07 PM

where did the 14-wide trail of ants lead?

A dude playing classical guitar in my coffeeshop, Mediocrely.

Coffee 01-11-2007 03:18 PM

Why were you drinking coffee outside on a cold park bench this morning Funky?

Throw 20,000 lives and 5 billion dollars at it.

Hyakujo's Fox 01-12-2007 09:39 AM

But what do the guys whose advice helped created this mess in the first place recommend?

They all come back eventually.

craig johnston 01-12-2007 10:56 AM

have you lost your marbles?

doin it in the park, doin it after dark, oh yeah.

Lizzard 01-12-2007 10:58 AM

When is the best time to play with glowsticks?

just to watch the colours.

craig johnston 01-12-2007 11:01 AM

why did you spend three hours waiting at the traffic lights?

i got a string attached to my thing, when you pull my string i can't do my thing like i oughta.

Lizzard 01-12-2007 11:16 AM

Woody, why won't you work???

Because Bill Clinton said if I didn't, The closet would be my new friend.

Brynn 01-12-2007 07:49 PM

why did you finally set things straight with that cute army recruiter?

The irrelevance of that question is mind-boggling.

Coffee 01-12-2007 10:12 PM

If the universe was created by a marshmallow, would chicken taste like snake?

It's not arrogance, it's self assurance.

trisherina 01-13-2007 12:51 AM

What have you convinced yourself regarding your own hubris?

Just tilt your head, and let it flow into the basin.

Hyakujo's Fox 01-13-2007 09:04 AM

I've had this tune going around in my head all day, what should I do?

Either that or a better pair of trousers.

craig johnston 01-13-2007 05:11 PM

are you going to shower before your date this time?

you can't be serious!

Hyakujo's Fox 01-14-2007 09:17 AM

What's the defining symptom of Johnston's Syndrome?

Somewhere along the way I just stopped caring.

trisherina 01-14-2007 01:06 PM

Hey, did you see who's up for a Golden Globe?

What you don't know won't hurt you.

Coffee 01-14-2007 03:24 PM

What is the "Golden Rule" for dishonest folks?

A sore neck and a sprained ankle.

craig johnston 01-14-2007 03:35 PM

what was the result of your james brown impersonation coff?

a fluffy pink hand grenade

funkytuba 01-16-2007 02:24 AM

And the latest plot of Lindsay Lohan's to take out Paris Hilton involves?

Chamomile, Witch Hazel and THC.

FJeff 01-17-2007 04:11 PM

Do you know how Robitussin was first developed?

Lazers; lots of them.

priceyfatprude 01-17-2007 04:47 PM

WTF happened to Joan Rivers face?

Merry Cranberry scented handiwipes.

craig johnston 01-17-2007 06:20 PM

what did you find in santa's grotto?

it's too late baby now it's too late

trisherina 01-18-2007 01:03 AM

What do you say if something inside has died and I can't hide it, I just can't fake it?

A narrow, ribbonlike strip of dried dough, usually made of flour, eggs, and water.

Frieda 01-18-2007 04:22 AM

when you're going on vacation, what's the first thing you pack?

a pen, a rose and a popsicle

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