Him: They are making cars now with engine components that can be
grown. Which means super-light engines that can run on biodiesel."
Me: That's good news. Except of course if someone crashes at a high speed with another green engine, both drivers will be crunched up and crumpled like a piece of tin foil.
Him: I suppose it's possible.
Me:
According to Mythbusters, even a bug hitting a motorcyclist at a certain speed in a certain vulnerable area of the throat can kill you.
Him: If you happen to be hit by a certain rare African beetle that is four inches in diameter at that exact area in the throat while riding a motorcycle, yes, it could happen.
(Pauses as he thoughtfully sips his coffee). By the way, if anyone ever comes at you to hurt you, hit them right here.
(He taps the hollow of his throat).
Me: Yes. Puncture them. With my keys in my fist.
Him: Or anything. Your fingers.
Me: My thumb.
Him: Yes.
Me: Then they won't be able to breathe. But do I really want to kill someone just because they want my purse?
Him:
(He shrugs) They wouldn't die. They would have a lot of trouble breathing. Might need an emergency tracheotomy though.
Me: I don't think I could hit them there that hard. But if I did, then I would have to call 911 for him. He'd be lying on the ground and I would have to reassure him.
(Glancing down over the edge of the breakfast table at an imaginary attacker on the ground) "Just lie quietly. You've been injured. Help is on the way."
Him: Or he might run away in a panic.
Me: Or get really really mad at me. Then I'd be in real trouble.
Him: That's why you have to hit him like you
mean it.
Me: Then when he's writhing in pain on the ground, I could lie to him and say "I'm really sorry. I didn't
mean to hit you that hard. Just relax. You're going to need a professional tracheotomy. You're lucky I'm nice enough to call an ambulance. I probably won't even need to press charges because I've already punished you enough myself, so please don't be mad and obsess over this when you go to prison for something else."
Him:
(Stares at me briefly, puts a hand on my shoulder and says kindly) I've got to go to work now. I'm glad we've rehearsed this - in case it ever happens.
