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-   -   ★ our subtle torments in hell ★ (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=15061)

funkytuba 11-20-2010 02:39 PM

in hell every single day the contractions start at 1:45am at 20 min apart, get closer and closer together until they're 5 min apart at 6am, then they stop completely and you have to go to work

Marcus Bales 11-20-2010 10:29 PM

In hell you always have four i's, two u's and an e.

Hyakujo's Fox 11-21-2010 01:57 AM

In hell your opponent is always claiming to have four i's, two u's and an e.

Marcus Bales 11-25-2010 12:01 PM

In hell your opponent is always claiming that you're always claiming that you have four i's, two u's, and an e.

lukkucairi 11-25-2010 06:28 PM

in hell, you're always 3/4 of the way through it.

Marcus Bales 11-26-2010 08:29 PM

In hell you're always 3/4 of the way through it, but through 90% of the budget.

Bman 11-26-2010 11:01 PM

In hell, all dvd's are irreparably scratched right at 6:66 (movies at 66:66 -- right when they're getting good)

Marcus Bales 11-27-2010 12:07 PM

In hell someone else is always sorting the young woman's boxes.

lukkucairi 11-27-2010 01:49 PM

in hell, you dream about malevolently sentient black goo every night.

Coffee 11-27-2010 01:54 PM

In hell work boots are not made in narrow widths, and your two pairs of socks constantly bunch up painfully around your toes when walking along sloping ground...the only kind of ground where you wear work boots.

Marcus Bales 11-27-2010 08:00 PM

In hell your ride calls you ever 5 minutes to tell you of another improbable accident that is keeping her from picking you up.

lukkucairi 12-01-2010 02:34 AM

in hell, you've lost your xanax bottle.

Frieda 12-01-2010 12:09 PM

in hell, all projects go live before the scope has been finalized.

Hyakujo's Fox 12-02-2010 05:38 AM

In hell, an immediately-effective snap total two-month panicked-executive-driven arse-covering moratorium on new releases gets announced two days before your planned release, after about a month of gutbusting by all involved to meet the deadline.

Marcus Bales 12-02-2010 08:50 AM

In hell, just after an immediately-effective snap total two-month panicked-executive-driven arse-covering moratorium on new releases gets announced two days before your planned release, after about a month of gutbusting by all involved to meet the deadline, a follow-up announcement forbids any testing or de-bugging of releases waiting in the pipeline.

Coffee 12-02-2010 01:00 PM

In hell, 2 weeks after a follow-up announcement forbids any testing or de-bugging of releases waiting in the pipeline, which was announced just after an immediately-effective snap total two-month panicked-executive-driven arse-covering moratorium on new releases announced two days before your planned release, after about a month of gutbusting by all involved to meet the deadline, your competitors release an identical product which becomes an immediate snap instant market success, bigger than the Pet Rock, or the iPhone, and your management team rushes to cover their asses by sacking your development team for missing your deadline.

lukkucairi 12-02-2010 02:07 PM

in hell, you always have to go and wait until there are a zillion entries to judge before you'll get around to dealing with the dictionary game.

Marcus Bales 12-02-2010 05:08 PM

In hell, when you're trying to submit your last 50 Dictionary Game entries so the judge has more work to do, the board won't post your entries.

Coffee 12-04-2010 01:26 PM

In Hell nothing lasts longer than 2 years because Hell outsourced all manufacturing to China Hell

Marcus Bales 12-19-2010 06:10 PM

In Hell you're not allowed to go home early even if there are no customers in all the vast reaches of devil-spawn, and you're top man in both volume of torturings and scream duration.

lukkucairi 01-04-2011 01:09 PM

in hell, your stomach is always upset.

Brynn 01-23-2011 10:42 PM

In hell, people "friend" you on facebook not to interact with you in a friendly fashion so much as to gather damning evidence with which to mock you.

Marcus Bales 02-04-2011 02:17 PM

In hell people say 'hey, nice tie', but they don't really mean it.

lukkucairi 06-18-2011 09:23 AM

In hell, you are expected to attend a baby shower every other night or so.

Marcus Bales 07-31-2011 09:30 PM

In hell you must sing the praises of God Almighty, accompanied by harp music, forever.

lukkucairi 08-01-2011 12:23 AM

in hell, you never have the right size shrink tubing.

YsaPur EsChomuw 08-01-2011 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcus Bales (Post 428895)
In hell you must sing the praises of God Almighty, accompanied by harp music, forever.

Oh, but you, you will have to sing the praises of free verse, forever. In free verse, naturally.

Marcus Bales 08-01-2011 11:07 PM

Hah! and you -- you will learn a new language every day, but it'll never be the one they're using that day.

YsaPur EsChomuw 09-17-2011 12:56 PM

In hell, when you look in the mirror in the morning a life-size chicken taxidermy looks back at what you thought was you...


Also, the morning paper contains nothing but tantalising excerpts from Mo's Posts.

Brynn 09-17-2011 01:22 PM

In hell, taxidermy chickens walk, cluck, and can hold a grudge indefinitely.

Hyakujo's Fox 09-19-2011 10:52 PM

and constitute the majority of the elected representatives.

Marcus Bales 09-21-2011 08:56 AM

and all the poets.

MoJoRiSin 09-22-2011 08:11 PM

^^^^ in hell, no rituals were ever performed

Coffee 09-28-2011 12:16 PM

In hell the prettier someone is on the outside, the uglier and meaner they are on the inside.

Marcus Bales 09-30-2011 12:27 PM

In hell every post is by someone whose opinion you don't care about.

Coffee 10-13-2011 11:54 PM

In hell nothing is ever rounded up.

Marcus Bales 10-14-2011 08:22 AM

In Hell after Hank Williams, Jr is fired from Monday Night Football he writes a song about it.

Coffee 10-14-2011 11:51 AM

In hell there are no paid vacations.

Marcus Bales 10-16-2011 10:33 PM

In hell your lover has always just left you without explanation

funkytuba 10-17-2011 02:40 AM

in hell, the neuroses of the parents are bothly visited upon the children


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