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-   -   ★ our subtle torments in hell ★ (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=15061)

zero 04-22-2008 01:54 PM

every page of every book we open to read is covered in red-ink underlines with double exclamation marked side-notes in the jagged scrawl of somebody clearly convinced by the politics and pseudophilosophy of ayn rand

Marcus Bales 04-22-2008 01:56 PM

... everyone is being so nice and polite to each other through the gritted teeth and fake smiles of contempt.

brightpearl 04-22-2008 03:24 PM

In hell, everyone around us says, "supposebly."

T.I.P. 04-23-2008 12:42 AM

hahaha

and "exetera"

T.I.P. 04-23-2008 12:47 AM

in hell, whenever it smells like fart everyone looks at you like you did it.

YsaPur EsChomuw 04-23-2008 11:03 AM

In hell, when you need to go to the toilet very much, it is always occupied by someone else for a very long time. Once a week for too long.

treekisser 04-23-2008 01:27 PM

In hell, you need to wait in line for everything. The person in front of you in line always has very lengthy, complicated business and the person behind you always shouts incessantly into her cell phone.

Bman 04-23-2008 02:11 PM

In hell, there is no cool side of the pillow.

Coffee 04-24-2008 01:18 AM

In hell you can only get a very dark roasted coffee. They "claim" to offer a medium roast, but it is a dark roast too.

Odbe 04-24-2008 03:58 AM

In hell, there is free internet everywhere, but it's all at less than 1kb/s so everything takes forever to load.

treekisser 04-24-2008 10:42 AM

In hell, the only newspaper is always devoted to stories about Britney Spears.

YsaPur EsChomuw 04-24-2008 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treekisser (Post 385219)
In hell, the only newspaper is always devoted to stories about Britney Spears.

... and is made of not very well recycled last scraps of toilet paper, so it crumbles while reading, leaving strange stains. It's not even good to swat a fly with.

Anna 04-24-2008 12:59 PM

In hell, there is no water pressure especially when you wash your hair
In hell, all the stories in the Onion are true.

YsaPur EsChomuw 04-24-2008 03:16 PM

In hell, when you're just about to bite into a sandwich - or any other food - in squeals out loud and squirts ketchup into your eyes and generally tries to wiggle away.

Every time you eat something you feel guilty of murdering your food.

zero 04-24-2008 03:38 PM

all our friends are imaginary friends


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