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-   Et Cetera (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/forumdisplay.php?f=49)
-   -   my apologies to frieda (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=11769)

Tunesmith 07-24-2007 12:36 AM

*sigh*

Well, if we weren't doomed before, we definitely are now. :(

Tunesmith 07-24-2007 12:46 AM

Y'know, I may be a lowly noob and all, seeing as I haven't passed the 3,000 post count yet (thanks for the tip, Brynn!), but it seems to me like we need to start honoring ze's wishes.

And I'm not just saying that because he ranks #11 on the Top 25 Web Celebrities, was called "very funny and energetic as a presenter" by Leigh Bureau, is the five-time winner of Witch Weekly's "Most Charming Smile Award", etc. I'm saying it because he's the creator of this amazing place, and therefore he deserves some respect.

But what do I know? Once again, I'm just a lowly noob.

topcat 07-24-2007 12:49 AM

I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain

I'd unravel any riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain Oh, I would tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain

topcat 07-24-2007 12:52 AM

this board
Is morally, ethically


Spiritually, physically

Positively, absolutely


Undeniably and reliably dead


As Topcat , I thoroughly examined
the board,
And she's not only merely dead
She's really most sincerely dead

brightpearl 07-24-2007 12:58 AM

I understand what auntie said about this being an 800lb gorilla. I do. But I'm thinking of it as more of a sleeping dragon. We're all the dragon, and we're all poking it in the eye.

If it isn't clear what Ze intends, this is probably because he is not yet sure what he will do. This place grew out of his work and has been part of his life for a long time; he's obviously fond of it and of many of the people here. It's clearly causing him as much pain as it is causing any of us for things to be off-kilter. I would certainly not like to be in his position.

If there's any chance of maintaining a part of the board, we have to be patient. We have to let things rest. There will be time for answers, and time for defining roles and rules. But I respectfully, oh so respectfully suggest that this is not the time. Look how quickly raw feelings arose in this thread, which was intended as a gift to Frieda, and the rest of us.

I like this place. As ridiculous as I would have thought it 6 months ago, some days, I need this place. I don't want it to go. And I know no one would be upset if they didn't feel similarly attached to it.

Consider this brightpearl's impassioned plea for a collective deep breath, for calm, patience, and letting this go for now. Where things can't be let go, perhaps they can be put aside for a while, until some of the details come into focus? Where they can't be put aside, perhaps they can be addressed privately.

I can see that there are some for whom the feelings are so raw that they'd rather see the board dead than taking a breather. It's an understandable impulse, but it's unkind to the rest of us. Anyone who isn't happy here may leave the rest of us to do as we will, and if no bridges are burned, there'll be room to return.

It's only a board, after all, and not worth so much strife. But it's such a lovely one, and worth so much effort.

priceyfatprude 07-24-2007 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tunesmith (Post 354708)
Y'know, I may be a lowly noob and all, seeing as I haven't passed the 3,000 post count yet (thanks for the tip, Brynn!), but it seems to me like we need to start honoring ze's wishes.

It's actually 4,000.
Quote:

And I'm not just saying that because he ranks #11 on the Top 25 Web Celebrities, was called "very funny and energetic as a presenter" by Leigh Bureau, is the five-time winner of Witch Weekly's "Most Charming Smile Award", etc. I'm saying it because he's the creator of this amazing place, and therefore he deserves some respect.

But what do I know? Once again, I'm just a lowly noob.
No one called you that. Why you gotta start?

topcat 07-24-2007 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tunesmith (Post 354708)
Y'know, I may be a lowly noob and all, seeing as I haven't passed the 3,000 post count yet (thanks for the tip, Brynn!), but it seems to me like we need to start honoring ze's wishes.

And I'm not just saying that because he ranks #11 on the Top 25 Web Celebrities, was called "very funny and energetic as a presenter" by Leigh Bureau, is the five-time winner of Witch Weekly's "Most Charming Smile Award", etc. I'm saying it because he's the creator of this amazing place, and therefore he deserves some respect.

But what do I know? Once again, I'm just a lowly noob.

^^^ strike 2

zenbabe 07-24-2007 01:51 AM

I feal your pain pearly, it isn't the first time this has happened,and it won't/might be the last, but at least your face isn't the bullseye. S'ok though. I can take a kick in the balls.

Mik 07-24-2007 02:15 AM

strike three eh?
3 outs?
bottom of the ninth?


great, game's over
we lose!

lukkucairi 07-24-2007 02:32 AM

maybe this is rounders

in rounders they go to five :o

Frieda 07-24-2007 04:45 AM

how dare you post my personal messages out in the open audrey??

jesus.

i thought this was a nice thread when i saw the title.

****.

brightpearl 07-24-2007 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zenbabe (Post 354727)
I feal your pain pearly, it isn't the first time this has happened,and it won't/might be the last, but at least your face isn't the bullseye. S'ok though. I can take a kick in the balls.

I feel your pain, too, because I've been the bullseye in other situations. But I've also been the one who had to call the shots. They both suck.

It turns out it hurts to watch from the sidelines, too. It's like coming in to see a great game, play a little, hang out with your buddies, and instead everyone's chairs have been moved and you've all got to stare straight ahead watching Kramer vs. Kramer from the halfway point, with little idea about the details, but a perfect view of the big picture.

It's obvious something has to give. One just hopes it can be done slowly enough to be gentle.

zefrank 07-24-2007 08:29 AM

audrey is banned for a while.
topcat is banned for a month.
zen is banned for a month but can contact me anytime if she'd like to chat about all this.

PFP is on warning.

no, none of it is fair, and for the moment that might happen while i try and salvage this place.

brightpearl 07-24-2007 08:46 AM

I'm sure it was hard for you to do, but there had to be some breathing room from somewhere.

Building it Back Up...
it makes me happy and hopeful to see that.

Hyakujo's Fox 07-24-2007 09:02 AM

Ze,

It's always been a little disconcerting to remember that this place that has become an essential part of the day continues to exist only through your goodwill. That you've run it as you have, even when your personal interests might have moved on, is something I am, and I think the vast majority of people here are genuinely grateful for. I can't contradict you if you feel the cost to yourself of running the board as it was, either in financial terms or in terms of arsepain, is no longer justified. But to me, it is disappointing that it should end because a small proportion of people are determined to give you a hard time, rather than through the place reaching the end of its natural life. I think it can have a lot of life in it yet if allowed, and new members are still arriving and are still finding the place to be both fun and intelligent, and they would seem to be the least biased observers. There's some great slow burning conversations in the debate hall too. So on the benefit side of the cost/benefit equation, I think there's as much justification as there ever was for this place to continue.

To some extent you're always going to be cast in the role of the absent parent, who isn't here to save us from each other and from ourselves, and be resented for it, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. Even though it's been clear we are expected to find our own solutions here, sometimes we can't, and on the internet, all arguments seem inevitably to degenerate into arguments about moderation. I think sometimes there's genuine frustration when people don't see a way to deal with a problem, as with a certain recent poster, and with other things too, and sometimes it must have it's out. I don't know, I think sometimes we need someone to tell us to get a grip, but we can only do that by dragging you in our problems, but then again we don't want to turn this into a chore for you.

Anyway I hope you can see your way to a change of heart on this, at some time at least. I gotta respect your opinion, but I felt as something of old timer, if not generation 0, I should be making a case for this place. In any event I think I'll be around as long as the fiction project has a life, and whatever Frieda's place can afford, I hope others will too.

Hfox

brightpearl 07-24-2007 09:04 AM

^Look at the main page.
:)

zefrank 07-24-2007 09:11 AM

thanks HF.

i agree that it is a special place, and i am trying to find a way to bring it back around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyakujo's Fox (Post 354772)
Ze,

It's always been a little disconcerting to remember that this place that has become an essential part of the day continues to exist only through your goodwill. That you've run it as you have, even when your personal interests might have moved on, is something I am, and I think the vast majority of people here are genuinely grateful for. I can't contradict you if you feel the cost to yourself of running the board as it was, either in financial terms or in terms of arsepain, is no longer justified. But to me, it is disappointing that it should end because a small proportion of people are determined to give you a hard time, rather than through the place reaching the end of its natural life. I think it can have a lot of life in it yet if allowed, and new members are still arriving and are still finding the place to be both fun and intelligent, and they would seem to be the least biased observers. There's some great slow burning conversations in the debate hall too. So on the benefit side of the cost/benefit equation, I think there's as much justification as there ever was for this place to continue.

To some extent you're always going to be cast in the role of the absent parent, who isn't here to save us from each other and from ourselves, and be resented for it, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. Even though it's been clear we are expected to find our own solutions here, sometimes we can't, and on the internet, all arguments seem inevitably to degenerate into arguments about moderation. I think sometimes there's genuine frustration when people don't see a way to deal with a problem, as with a certain recent poster, and with other things too, and sometimes it must have it's out. I don't know, I think sometimes we need someone to tell us to get a grip, but we can only do that by dragging you in our problems, but then again we don't want to turn this into a chore for you.

Anyway I hope you can see your way to a change of heart on this, at some time at least. I gotta respect your opinion, but I felt as something of old timer, if not generation 0, I should be making a case for this place. In any event I think I'll be around as long as the fiction project has a life, and whatever Frieda's place can afford, I hope others will too.

Hfox


Hyakujo's Fox 07-24-2007 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brightpearl (Post 354773)
^Look at the main page.
:)

It must've had an effect. :D

TinaBina 07-24-2007 10:07 AM

Yayyyy!!

After a nasty night of dreaming about my old cat eating poisoned mice and earthworms coming in through the walls, this is especially nice to wake up to!!!! :D

brightpearl 07-24-2007 10:09 AM

^:eek: omg get over to the happy thread, stat!

nycwriters 07-24-2007 10:46 AM

Interesting.

Ze, I always thought you looked at the public forum as a sort of social experiment. Something that would feed your creative urges and everything that went with it: anger, love, joy, sadness. Over the course of time that I participated in this section of the forums there was some pretty heavy stuff that went down, yet you remained neutral, or relatively neutral.

Suffice to say I was surprised to come here and witness such an extreme reaction -- whatever happened, and I'm glad to say I wasn't witness to it, must have been huge.

At least I hope it was huge -- that you didn't lose your objectivity that cobbled together this community in the first place. Something to think about.

Let me bastardize an old saying: If we delete our past, we are bound to repeat it. The history of this board, ugly or pretty, created a foundation of users who were pretty dedicated to you. And most of that dedication came out of a respect for you (whether you believe that or not) and the freedom that you gave them, here -- for better or worse.

So there was a deletion issue. So you take away those abilities. It seems simple enough. What I know of Zen, she's not malicious. A wino, yes. Malicious, no. :p It kind of makes me sad to read her singled out here, when so much has gone on in the past.

But do you wipe out nearly five years of history? Hrm. There's some ugly ugly stuff on here that I would love to see gone forever, but now I'm not so sure it isn't a lesson for me to re-read and learn about myself, and grow.

Public figure or not, what makes you you, is your ability to reach out to virtual strangers and embrace them. And that means doing so, warts and all. It's the foundation of your celebrity.

Eh, what do I know? I probably haven't had enough coffee and am not making a whole lot of sense. It's early.

I can tell you that when I came back, when I decided I wanted to come back, I didn't step foot in this forum because I knew what it would entail. I was happy playing in the fiction area, with my own little bucket and shovel and enough water to build a beautiful sandcastle.

craig johnston 07-24-2007 10:54 AM

thank you h.fox for putting my thoughts into words.
you are brilliant!

:)

and ze, i'm really sorry you've had to put up with sh*t
on your own forum, but thank you for creating it and
keeping it going. it's given a lot of people a lot of
pleasure for a long time, and, as fox says, has the
potential to do so for some time to come.

;)

Tunesmith 07-24-2007 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by priceyfatprude (Post 354714)
No one called you that. Why you gotta start?

Oh, nononono...I wasn't trying to complain, pfp. I love this place! :D

I was just trying to make it known that nerves were being frayed and that tempers were rising out of control. Luckily, pearly voiced it much more eloquently than I did, and things went back to somewhere near normality.

Sorry if it came off like me whining about my low post count. I would never intentionally do that. I like being the noob, to some extent.

;)

Stephi_B 07-24-2007 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zefrank (Post 354762)
while i try and salvage this place.

Ze - ti amo and thank you! :)

Gives me the 2nd HUGE happy today! (The other was passing my first talk on an international conference a) alive and b) with quite some kudos)

zefrank 07-24-2007 02:33 PM

i'm going to be deleting this thread - mainly because i can't seem to unstick it, and things have changed a bit since it was first posted.

Frieda 07-24-2007 02:46 PM

check box, scroll down, unstick thread?

no?

lapietra 07-24-2007 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zefrank (Post 354684)
is there a question in this? i'll be happy to answer it.

to clear up the lala thing, she emailed me without my prompting - realized that she overstepped her bounds - voluntarily handed in her keys and left - i did not ask her to do this.

this is contrary to what i said before. my mistake.

Thank you, ze - I really appreciate this. You're a right decent chap. :)

Hi anna! *hug*

zefrank 07-24-2007 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frieda (Post 354846)
check box, scroll down, unstick thread?

no?

ahhh yes.

seebe 07-24-2007 03:12 PM

I think it's a good idea to delete it too because, "things have changed a bit since it was first posted".

auntie aubrey 07-24-2007 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephi_B (Post 354841)
passing my first talk on an international conference a) alive and b) with quite some kudos

let's not let this pass unnoticed.

congrats on surviving!

brightpearl 07-24-2007 03:28 PM

^Yay Stephi!

B'bye thread! Don't let the door hitcha on the way out!

Stephi_B 07-25-2007 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brightpearl (Post 354861)
^Yay Stephi!

B'bye thread! Don't let the door hitcha on the way out!

Que?! :confused: (There were other circumstances in the G'bye thread or?)

You the same Brightpearl, you know the one I really liked :(

If this is about CJ - he's yours (as far a person whether real or virtual can 'belong' to somebody), no issue for me!

Stephi_B 07-25-2007 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by auntie aubrey (Post 354854)
congrats on surviving!

Thanx :) Phew, one or two millstones fell off my breast! Was totally scared when I read the list of the other speakers and all...

brightpearl 07-25-2007 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephi_B (Post 355038)
Que?! :confused: (There were other circumstances in the G'bye thread or?)

You the same Brightpearl, you know the one I really liked :(

If this is about CJ - he's yours (as far a person whether real or virtual can 'belong' to somebody), no issue for me!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
:D :D :D

OOOOOOkay. I was referring to the fact that Ze said he was going to delete the thread, and I was going to be SO happy to see it go, because it turned a lovely gift to Frieda into more backbiting.

Desperately sorry for any misunderstanding! I should have typed a line between my congrats to you and my goodbye to the THREAD.

Deepest, hugest, most sincerestest congrats to you, dear Stephi! I am still the same brightpearl.

Stephi_B 07-25-2007 09:35 AM

Alright, a misunderstanding - no issue either! Good you're still the Pearl I knew!

:)

brightpearl 07-25-2007 09:40 AM

:D
CJ is going to be peeved at me for laughing!

Jack Flanders 05-04-2016 01:00 PM

Lookie what's still around!!! Heh...what a crazy, depressing time that was.

MoJoRiSin 07-04-2016 09:55 PM

I read somewhere recently that saccadic people are the smartest
(think about it)


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