Guilt-Free Communal Limericks
 

WHAT? Another limerick thread? Oh well, how can one more hurt?

These will be your garden variety limericks.
One line per post.

Have a perfect line? Feel free. Not so perfect? Oh, go ahead.
Edited to add: It is understood that everyone here is trying to write limericks that rhyme and have the correct meter. We may not always get it exactly right, but at least we can try, and have a bit of fun. This doesn't mean that we try to write the worst limerick lines possible - for that perhaps someone would like to create a Bad Limericks thread :D

Posts in this thread are not eligible for open critique.
Edited to add: By this I mean that it should be assumed that not all writers here feel comfortable having their contributions publicly criticized. You can of course always offer your constructive criticsm using the PM function.

My panda has eaten my sweater

*MUAH*
:)

My panda has eaten my sweater
the one with the big orange letter

My panda has eaten my sweater
the one with the big orange letter
And now there are big orange fuzzies in her poop

My panda has eaten my sweater
the one with the big orange letter
And now there are big orange fuzzies in her poop
Some so big they won't fit in the scoop

My panda has eaten my sweater
the one with the big orange letter
And now there are big orange fuzzies in her poop
Some so big they won't fit in the scoop
But I don't think she's ever smelled better

I need a new low interest card

I need a new low interest card
The kind that they advertise with Vikings pillaging.

I need a new low interest card
So I can buy a ton of lard

I need a new low interest card
So I can buy a ton of lard
a new tennis racket

I need a new low interest card
So I can buy a ton of lard
a new tennis racket
a woolen jacket

I need a new low interest card
So I can buy a ton of lard
a new tennis racket
a woolen jacket:
It's my list! Don't call me "retard".

I need a new low interest card
The kind that they advertise with Vikings pillaging.
They'll ask me what's in MY wallet

This isn't going to be a war