Sorry for inviting you to a bulletin board where registration is blocked.

Um, remember when you told us that we're all emotionally retarded for not giving you weirdly long hugs the second time you ever turned up? And then the next time, after giving us an inappropriately detailed analysis of your childhood issues, you harshly criticized the guy that had hugged you but had also said ever-so-kindly that regular folks who don't really know you can't replace a qualified therapist, no matter how much they hug you. And then you talked about real estate for a really long time.

And now this week you brought meticulously formatted handouts about the medical and psychological benefits of hugging and handed them to us all individually.

It's just creepy.

you could always try not being stoned for a couple of days, or even hours. i think you'd find it quite refreshing.
;)

dear asshole:

you know you didn't impress me last night, though perhaps you didn't understand the totality with which I saw through you.

you do not intimidate me. I've seen and dealt with far worse than you. you are an insecure, anxious little man who covers himself with bluster and bullies everyone around him. you have no magic. take your paranoia somewhere else.

in your fear, you have constructed an airtight little shell around you. I feel profoundly sorry for you, but I have no patience or time for you either. I will not fight you, so quit hoping.

yours,

lulu

Dear a-hole,
If you'd leave lulu alone, I'd consider it a personal favor to yourself.
bp

Beautiful dark-haired lady!
(yes, you are very beautiful indeed, he showed me your photo, he always carries it around in his wallet)

Please stop playing these bloody games with my father!
That's going on now since, what?, 3 years at least, or 4?, and last time you made him high hopes even I believed it.
Finally tell him what's fact! (Would have been a nice b-day gift, that was last Tuesday btw, did you call him at all?, didn't dare to ask him cos I feared the answer is 'no')
To be honest, I don't believe half of the horror stories you tell my dad about your hubby (just on the phone with him he told me the latest facet you added to the picture) - whom you are just about to leave at least 3, 4 times a year, right?
Tell, you what I think (and which I just cannot tell my father, he is totally and helplessly in love with you, he wouldn't - want to - believe it):
My dad is a nice toy for you, whenever your husband is on business travel or hasn't much time for you. You have found out (just like my mom ca. 30 years ago), that my dad is very receptible, even more than other men, to women supposedly caught in the victim role and you play him perfectly.
He hasn't deserved that!! Yes, he is peculiar, a bit eccentric some might say, but he is a very good man, honest, has a heart of gold and (tries to) fullfill(s) every wish a woman he loves might have, I know that cos he's like that also with us, his three daughters!
He already had more than enough bad luck with women. :( Just stop it, please! One way or the other...

You know what? I just don't trust people who never say "fvck" in polite conversation. It ain't cotton.

Aww.
I missed you, too, buddy.

look, don't say I didn't tell you.

Dude. The dragon is sleeping.

Do not poke it in the eye.

Look, if they don't have a fly, they're panties. Man panties.

Manties.

Oh, hello.
Come on in. But I should warn you that I have a black belt in offering tea and biscuits.

Congratulations!

Do you remember
how I carried you across the prickles?

I had a dream.
You were about to fall into a trap
so I went to help you, without even thinking.
But I hit a glass wall that I didn't even notice.
I couldn't get to you.
Now I don't think that wall's coming down any time soon
but I'm happy that you have some good people
on that side of the wall with you.
(I hope they save you!)