Advice
 

Leave some, ask for some.

It doesn't have to be good.

Never wear brown shoes with a blue suit.

If someone tells you they're too fvcked up for a relationship, you should believe them.

do these socks go with this dress?


what about this one?


Is there ever a good time for a tiara?

I just got a blank email from Watkins S. Valentine with an attachment. Do you think it's spam?

Don't walk naked into a pit of angry cobras. After all, there's no guarantee that something won't get bitten.

:p

Yes

No

In the last Harry Potter book.

After establishing that you are only trying to get someone back for a practical joke, do you think it's a bit over the top to hack their dead body into less than 5-inch chunks? Or should I keep it a bit larger than that?

Nah, the chipper-shredder is your best bet.


what about when someone is playing music too loud too late at night? Does that justify paintballing their car?

I don't know about the paint-balling, but it certainly justifies going to their house and getting some of what ever it is that they have, because they are apparently having a better time than you.
:)

I've been drinking coffee black for a while now, but someone gave me a container of vanilla-caramel creamer. Should I tempt fate and re-enter the 3rd circle of hell, for a little flavored coffee, or just grin and bear it?

First vanilla-flavored creamer, then creme brule after dinner, then pretty soon you own a Dairy Queen and weigh 350 lbs. Up to you.


How about this: I've been listening to old Simon & Garfunkel songs and I can scarcely see through my tears to type.

Is there any help for me?

Here you go hon.



Syrup and butter on the french toast, or butter and powdered sugar w/ lemon?

wallow in it blaes, get it out of your system, there's a good chap.

[quote=brightpearl;355809]do these socks go with this dress?


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QUOTE]

Looks like she might be getting Randy!

wise men don't need it, fools don't heed it.

where does that leave the rest of us?

:confused:

it's only an advisory ;)

imagine if you gave someone advice over the internut
and they took your advice and then it went horribly wrong.
like if you said 'you should eat more fish', cos it's healthy and
stuff, and then they did, but a bone got stuck in their throat
and they choked to death.

it would be all your fault.

so my advice is don't give any advice.

Thread killer. :D

Balderdash! Death never stopped anyone from giving advice, even to the dearly departed.

continue on...

Never eat anything larger than your head

- B. Kliban

i have just been bitten or stung by a large unseen insect on the back of my neck. i know it wasn't a spider because it buzzed and flew. i don't want to sound like a total spaz, but let's just say there was a lot of screaming and thrashing and therefore i didn't actually lay eyes on the bug at any point.

there's a raised red welt on the back of my neck now (i can't see it myself for obvious reasons but my husband confirmed its presence) and it burns like holy fire. i've taken antihistimine and acetaminophen and i've been holding a pack of ice to it for an hour.

still, it burns. and aches. and generally feels pretty painful.

i need bug bite advice. what do i do to make it stop hurting?????

Try meat tenderizer or baking soda made into a paste with a little water. Dab it on, and put a band-aid over it.

Gardening Advice *
--------------------

1. Always wear sunscreen and a hat for protection, even if you're just "going out to do a little weeding." Especially then.

2. Weeds teased out with a gentle but skilful tug stay gone longer than those dug out by force.

3. Leave the moss alone. There are always worse things than moss.

4. Take breaks. Go into the shade every once in a while.

5. Remember that the dirt will find its way to the lowest spot; be prepared for erosion.

6. Admire the things that you want to thrive.

7. At the end (it always ends), have a cool drink, preferably with someone who will admire your handiwork.

* none of this is about gardening

no meat tenderizer. we don't really do meat.

i did find some baking soda a few minutes ago (had to raid my bath bomb supplies) and i had the spouse apply a paste to the welt. he said the welt is almost gone BUT TELL THAT TO THE BURNING IN MY NECK!!!!!!

stupid bug.

try an ice pack

that always helped me. I've been stung zillions of times by all kinds of beeses and waspeses.

hornetses are the worst. those stings take three days to go away - at least for me they do.

if the burning is really bad and you can't sleep, fill a gallon jug with cold water and take it to bed (make sure it doesn't leak) - press the affected part up against the side of the jug and it'll quit burning long enough for you to get to sleep.

gallon jugs can be leaky these days. a nalgene bottle filled with ice and water works pretty well too.

this works with poison ivy rash as well.

^Yeah, and they make my bones feel like they're buzzing..ugh. But baking soda should help. I've heard of putting a cut onion on it, too, but I've never tried it myself.

the bahamian remedy for a cold is to wear a slice of onion in your sock!

I have never tried this.

I'm bored. What should we do?

I thought about starting a what to do when bored thread, but this site has so much advice that there's probably nothing to add.

My favorites are:
sterilize your stereo with Jack Daniels
Plug in the cat
factor your social security number
Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
Try to join Hell's Angels by mail

The onion needs a hamburger and tomato to work. If you are a vegatarian please use a slice of pizza.

i read that but i couldn't bring myself to try it.

it now feels like a very specifically located very bad sunburn.

(Ahem - I ain't dead, yet! I miss my old bread. :( )

hurry, quick, drink some rum!
then a little more, and a little more after that.

papaya extract?

pineapples are also nice and tenderizing. they digest the inside of my mouth when I eat them.

jack, you need a bread, definitely.

'scuse the lame title, but I went and made you one.

:)

I'm thinking about getting a little tattoo of a rhino. Seriously. Any advice? I'm open to anything from
don't do it -- I have a friend who's spinal cord got infected and now the government pays a nurse to feed her mashed bananas

to

keep the lines simple/complicated/realistic/black/color....

Where? Is the small of the back cliche these days? It would be easy to hide there...

How much to pay?

Will I regret it, no matter how much I think I won't?

think about it for six months.

if you still want it in six months, do it.

in the meantime, research your rhinos. and research your inks, and the places in town that do tattoos. there's new ink coming on the market that is easily erasable via a single laser treatment. I have two friends who were allergic to the black ink used in their tats - if you're concerned, have a test shot of the ink a week before.

small of the back? it's a pity it's a cliche because it's a decent place for a tat. not a lot of fat there, and the skin doesn't sag much as you get older. avoid areas that are affected a lot by gravity.

I got a tattoo on my shoulderblade 4 years ago - guess it's more of a statement because I can't hide it if I wear something sleeveless - but I thought about it for a decade, and decided that was where it had to go :)

I got it in brown ink - that seems to fade to a kind of reddish-purple. I didn't want black, because black fades to blue. I can't imagine ever wanting this tattoo removed, but if I did, I suspect brown ink may be easier to get rid of than black.

what you pay depends what city you're in and how large a tattoo - ask around for some local knowledge.

regrets: probably, yeah, you'll have a couple of "OMG what did I do?!" moments - but if you got the right tattoo, it'll just be your internalized mother scolding you and not a real bad "OH SHIT I just ruined my life".

tip: if you get your tattoo on your back somewhere where you can't see it all the time, you'll forget you have it after a while. It becomes much less of a big deal if it's not, say, on your forearm or ankle or neck or something.

make sure they don't use car paint. If you believe in the laws of the torah or OT I wouldn't do it then either .

I've been thinking about it for a couple of years....

Removable ink sounds good, but it might be anti- what I'm going for. I'm thinking of doing it in concert with a sort of vow thing I'll be doing soon...

Hrm. Is small of the back really cliche? It's kind of a personal thing that I don't want to explain every time I wear a tank top to the grocery store...

how about putting on a tank top, then looking at the skin that's covered by it - have someone take a pic of your back - and play around with the placement.

if it needs to go in the small of your back, it needs to go there and fvck anyone who thinks different :)

mine had to be on my shoulder - it was also part of a personal vow - and that was where it had to be once I'd thought about it. you'll be surprised how many people don't ask you about your tattoo even if it's visible!

still, when people see it they'll put you in the "tattooed person" pigeonhole, and kick you out of the "untattooed person" pigeonhole. but that's OK ;)

I understand the nonremovable ink thing. still, I'd recommend getting a test spot done first - allergic reactions really suck, and it ruins the artwork.