ZEFRANK.COM - message board - nobody here but me....

^comforting :)

Just me and my West Coast time zone chickens in here. And sometimes Mojo. She and I should blow this place off and go make cupcakes together today. It's beautiful out. We could bake outside and talk about random things and put sprinkles on the icing and have tea and relax after all that baking in our outdoor oven that we have built for the occasion out of mud and sheet metal we just find lying around. Although I find it hard to believe she has any sheet metal or chicken wire and mud lying around her yard. We could have put blinky lights around it and had a very festive time. She's probably off doing yoga or meditating or something incredibly healthy.

Echo!

Yahhhhhh! (Yahhhhhh!)

Paulina Purriskova lifted her head all the way up this morning, actually looked around and asked for more chicken broth. Now I can't find her. I wonder if she'll ever be the same after getting stepped on. Her eyes have been glazed and strange.
Here kitty. (Here kitty).
All very depressing.

I'm told that people suffering from depression do quite well when they take stand-up comedy classes. Very therapeutic, they say. Although it's hard to find the humor in talking about helpless injured kittens. Unless she's faking it in order to get a food upgrade. Which of course she's not. Although before the accident, I would catch her watching MTV so there's no telling what she may have picked up along the way.

You know what's depressing? Going to a salsa concert to watch everybody dance their tricky sexy little dances and show off. It really did seem like a good idea at the time. You've got all these dancers there who think they're better than everyone else who can't dance salsa. The ones who grew up with it as part of their culture - they're fantastic and they're laughing and smiling and having a great time. Then you've got the white-bread suburbanites who take classes. Watch out for them, they are vicious vicious people. And this is their only shot, you know? Friendly community dance? Time to prove themselves. It's not fun for them - they're doing this incredibly complicated tango (it's not even salsa but it's what they know best and they've got to do it somewhere, right?) with this drop-dead "I hate you" mask on their faces. They jab their elbows into you and drive you off the floor. Then look at you contemptuously as if you were raised by apes. Which I was. I can't dance salsa.
Then I hurt my foot again (plantar fasciitis). The most I could do was a little shuffle thing while my husband (who won't go to classes) does the two-step and my hurt foot is feeling like it's stuck in a bucket and my flip flops are flying off...why did I wear flip flops? So I go sit down to watch everybody do what I would rather be doing myself. I'm thinking "whose idea was this, anyway?" A symphony, a ballet maybe, but salsa? If you can't dance, why stay? It's loud, repetitious and pretty boring after a while. I left early. My apologies to the salsa-loving community. I obviously don't have the same commitment. Apart from all that it was a nice evening.

In case the above offends anybody, just remember - I am just a loser who recently bounced several debit purchases. That was fun. I go into the bank and proudly present $200 for deposit - my entire take for the last two weeks - and am told that it will not quite cover the multiple overdraft charges - $33 for a $3.50 mocha at Starbucks, for instance. I'm so stupid. I tend to think of my debit card as a sort of pre-paid credit card. When the money runs out, it runs out, right? Apparently not.

Umpqua Bank sees this happening and instead of refusing me at the point of sale with a friendly little "slow down on that spending, missy, you're out of moola!" they chuckle that low bwahahaha and rub their palms together saying "She's out of money. Let's finish her off. Let's let her do this for a couple of days....! Then we can kick her in the boobs."

Now all of this would be okay except I'm also walking around now like a shorn sheep from my beauty school encounter with the ex-child bride of David Koresh. According to her, there's still an entire branch of the Branch Davidians skinning deer and hunting for berries in the wilderness of Northern Canada. Maybe they will take care of me now that I look like one of them.

thank you I'll be here all week try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitress.