In the very rare case when you do get breakfast it's some maggot infested Asian speciality, the very sight of which makes you vomit.

In hell you eat crap, and you crap sub sandwiches.

in hell, your wisdom teeth grow back after they've been removed. then they have to be taken out again.

But once you decide to cut your hair, it never grows back. You're doomed to look like an idiot for the rest of your life in hell.

In hell you see things just the way they really are.

In hell, you get fat by breathing. If you hold your breath you get even fatter.

In hell you can't find any work.

In hell, there's no change. Things and people stay the same forever. There's no hope of getting a decent sandwich.

In hell, you always burn your tongue while drinking soup/hot drinks, no matter how careful you are.

In hell you wake up feeling more tired than when you did when you went to bed.

In hell, your sink is always full of someone else's dirty dishes.

Yesss! And all your clean underwear miraculously disappears in the morning when you're in a hurry to get to work in time.

in hell, someone is always watching

Just to remind you that, in Hell, you are scheduled to attend your mandatory Escalating Events compliance training.

in hell, you can never get attention when you need it.

in hell, your flight is always being delayed by yet another half hour.

:mad:

Every time you turn on your TV set in hell, your face appears in all or the commercials for constipation, hair loss, erectile dysfunction, deodorant, and identity theft.

^^and u don't get royalties.

^What you get, though, is lots of people, pointing their finger at you in the street, laughing. A sour kind of fame.

in hell, we always have s little bit of gum on the sole of one shoe, so that when we take a step, there is always a tiny sticking sensation

In hell you can play video games, but there are no save points and no memory cards

...and only a weak, one inch display.

In hell, there is only one Oreo left in the package, and it's broken, so that countless chocolate crumbs have become embedded in the creme filling, defiling it irrevocably.

In hell there are no kittens, and all the puppies are hairless Yorkshire Terriers.

In hell, all perfumes must be personally approved by Paris Hilton.

in hel evryting u hav 2 reed iz ritten bi 12yrolds on msn

^ Wait, that's not a subtle torment.

in hell, the pharmacy always gives you the wrong medication

^ And no wonder, because in hell there're no prescriptions. Instead, you've got to mime your problems in the pharmacy and they guess. Because you're not allowed to speak, it's quite difficult to get the right meds for e.g. constipation or diarrhea.

No need. In hell, there is no remedy for diarrhea or constipation. Collectively, they constitute the national sport.

In Hell, you never know what's going to happen.

In Hell, you know exactly what's going to happen -- and then it happens exactly that way

In hell there is no chocolate.

...only devil's food.

in hell there's always something good on tv

in hell, there is no tea.

In hell you can't remember your name
'Cause there is one there to give you mo' pain

In hell, someone else is always using the only bathroom.

In hell, people have names like: It, And, Has, Or, To, etc., so any time they overhear a conversation, they shudder several times, because they think they're being called upon to answer for something terrible they had done, even though they have no idea what it is.

In hell, we always have little popcorn kernel skins stuck between our teeth.