TV shows that almost made it
 

Amish I. A.

The subtley irreverant sitcom about an Amish community's secret service and the agents who serve it.

Jebediah Helmuth and Abraham Yoder are partners working to stamp out and/or ameliorate the outside world's influence in their community even as they find themselves challenged, influenced and forced to personal spiritual growth by the perspectives they experience in the outside world they interface with on behalf of their community.

Sundays 7-8pm on channel 7 TPC (The Puritan Channel) 1983

Cancelled: 3 Episodes aired, 2 in the can.

(Reason for cancellation: The Amish don't have TVs and no one else cared)

The Life and Times of Dwight D. Eisenhower
Season I: "The Early Years"

Charlie Bit Me

This US remake of the popular YouTube video failed to make an impression on audiences both young and old. It was finally yanked off the air by jittery executives in fear of a class action suit, after a nationwide spate of chewed finger incidents.

Spiderwoman

Charlotte Muffett (played by Salma Hayek) is the illegitimate daughter born to an arachniphobic spinster who, while on her tuffett, was attacked and forcibly raped (she claims) by a spider the size of a grizzly bear. Possessing superhuman strength and venomous saliva, Muffett tries to blend in with life in Cedar Rapids, Iowa working as a construction worker. Dressed in a skimpier version of Spiderman's costume, she also moonlights as an exotic dancer at a strip club, meting out severe punishment to any overstimulated patron who tries to get too close. She is recruited by the special victims unit of the CRPD and proceeds to help the cops to catch bad guys, often politicians, with their pants down.

Despite rave reviews, the show was cancelled after its first segment aired because of threatened legal action for copyright infringement by Spiderman, Charlotte's Web, Black Widow, Flashdance, and Mother Goose and for defamation of character by a significant number of political incumbents whose identities were undisclosed.

The Private Life of Lice

A captivating soap opera with vivid pictures offering insight into the amazingly variegated species’ striking private sphere.

Cancelled: after one episode
Reason: Animal rights protesters rescued the cast, hiding the lice in their lap.

and Pre-War Career. History Channel at 9 to 11 EST. Ike's life as was told by his cousin Mike who saw him occasionally when their family got together for infrequent holiday parties.

Cancelled after one week because of Cousin Mike's legal problems.

^A great general whose parents were pacifists.

amazing really

I know - really amazing. gobama

FORUM TROLL

The reality show that pits wise-acres and the genetically offensive against innocent message boards. The goal is for unsavory contestants to offensively surf randomly chosen forums and see who can get booted first.

Hosted by the appropriatly annoying Gilbert Gottfried of Aflak duck fame, the show never made it to syndication as the end of the writer's strike eliminated the need for yet another desperate attempt to create TV content without union writers.
Regretably some contestants didn't get the word that the show was cancellled :( (*hint *hint MichaelG)