You must have failed the mandatory sexual harrassment course

Spouses and families are not invited to the company christmas party.

Makes me wonder what they've got in store...

this from a friend of mine who is a social worker and works at a group home....................

"I INVENTED ELECTRICITY AND SOMEBODY OWES ME SOME GOD DAMN MONEY"

Hookers for everyone! hahahahahahaha

Here's mine:


"Since we're in a different department this year, your Christmas present is lunch w/Russ."

our holiday party is going to be January 30th this year, and on a boat so people can't leave after they give out the door prizes...

Special Instructions on a customer's security account in case of PD dispatch:

Notify PD that the husband sleeps in the walk-in closet of the master bedroom.

"Mom had called."

this had me laughing. A guy telling a girl this... a girl he is hitting on

... he saw an opportunity to establish his priorities! :p

I've heard a lot of talk in my time...

"…don't worry he's just Canadian…"

Old lady number one: "Help!"

Old lady number two: "Help!"

Old lady number three: "Help!"

Old lady number four: "Fark them all, help ME!"

Overheard - the eccentric, absent-minded receptionist to a harried paralegal:

"I think you're just about the nicest person I've ever met...but I'm going to have to think about that a little more."

"Oh. Thanks. I think"

Two girls I work with got their tongues pierced a few weeks ago. One of the coworkers at the one girl's part time job said:


"I know why you girls want to get your tongues pierced. I've been married for 39 years, you know what I do? Stick a Jolly Rancher in your mouth first, then go to town!"

conversation evolves into:

"You mean you never put something in your mouth first?"

"No. Well maybe some Pop Rocks. "

^^her new nickname is Pop Rocks.

:D

two guys talking further down the hall in the cubicle jungle

> hey, new pair of jeans? nice!
< yeah, thanks, the wallet doesnt fit in the back pocket though. and it looks kinda weird to put it in the front!
> well, that would make you look metrosexual. actually, you already are looking quite metro today
< ...
> really nice pants!