Help quick
Last year I saw this list of things to do on the first day of the year... i.e. make a copy of everything in your wallet, pour drano down the sink so it won't clog... etc. Does anyone know where this list is located or has anyone seen a similar list?
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your list should include changing your location from 'italy' to 'dakotan hell'
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Change underpants
Air genitalia at midnight Drive at least double all speed limits Stalk new super model At all legal hearings answer all prosecutor's questions with the word "Pants" If you have to give a speech or seminar, to alleviate nervousness imagine yourself naked. Air genitalia again for good measure. Give up lard - it is not a food group. Burn any turtle neck sweaters in your wardrobe - yes, even the gay black one you have (dont deny it). During all military parades say "Twat" after hearing every command. Call your mother. Calm Down. Hope this helps.... :) |
use the vast array of internet search engines to find rimmer's phone number.
call her every night at 3 AM until she consents to bear your children. attend a football game painted in the opposing team's colors. go for that scrotal piercing you've been considering. write a threatening letter to john ashcroft. |
MON, you crack me up
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Win the lottery.
Move to CostaRica Lose weight on Costa Rican diet or pay for the fat to be removed. (surfing all the time will not rid it. Surfing is an anaerobic exercise) At the rate Jake is going with the strength he is building, I may need to get into better shape just to keep up with him once he becomes mobile. |
..........man who fart in church.......sit in own pew!!!!!!!!!!!!
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