Bored
 

I'm really bored would someone please tell me something funny????????

Two Arabs are chatting. One of them has his wallet out and is flipping
through pictures.
"Yeah, this is my oldest. He's a martyr. Here's my second son. He's a
martyr, too."
There's a pause...
The second Arab says, wistfully, "Ah, they blow up so fast, don't they?"

Thank you, Thank you!!!

how about this one...

two hunters are out hunting.... one of the hunters collapses unexpectedly, his eyes rolling into the back of his head... also, it seems that he's stopped breathing...

his friend, always prepared, grabs his cell phone and dials 911... once connected, he tells the emergency operator that he thinks his friend is dead, that they are out in the woods, and what in the world should he do?

the operator, being fully trained to handle this kind of situation, says, "First, let's make sure your friend is dead". There is a slight pause, then the operator hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"

Q: what's big, red, and eats rocks?



A: a big red rock eater.

A man goes into a pub, with a pig under his arm.
He walks in and lays the pig down in front of the bar, and orders a beer.
The barman says "You can't leave that lyin' there"
Our man replies " It's not a lion it's a pig"

Many Thanks
 

I love them all. I'm just having the most boring afternoon ever.

this one 'll keep you busy for a while!

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pie???
A. A meringue-utan

Q:What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

A: Anyone can roast beef.

This guy walks into a bar, and says, 'ouch!"

A brain and a set of jump leads walk into a bar.
Barman says "oi! You two - get out!"
Brain says "what's the matter?"
Barman says "well, you're out of your skull, and he's bound to start something".

A young female Irish potato calls her father to tell him she's getting married. Her father says "Now, he's a nice Irish potato, right?"
"No Daddy, he's..."
"Then is he a good Idaho potato?"
"No, no, Dad. It's Bob Costas."
"What? You can't marry him!"
"Why not Daddy?"
"Well, he's just a commentator*!"

*common 'tater.

I don't
 

want to hurt anyone ones feelings but the last two are my faves!!

happy night to everyone!!!

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7,8,9.