Rent a Negro!
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Oh, man, that's so bad. XD
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Which is fine and dandy, but out of my price range..
Event Rates Types of Events • Corporate/Business Rate: $350 per hour • Personal/Private/Individual Rate: $200 per hour • Non-Profit Rate: $275 per hour • Drop-in/Appearances: $100 each • Informational/High Question Volume: add $100 per hour • Emergencies/Short Notice (24 hour window): add $150 per hour Ongoing/Retainer Services • $10,000 Annually (12 Events, 15 Calls, 10 Appearances, 3 Consultations) Additional Services • "Help! I need a Black Opinion!" $75 per call (30 minute duration) or email (24 hr response time) • Touch Her Hair: $25 each time • Touch Her Skin: $35 each touch • Compare Your Skin Tone to Hers: $50 • Tell her"you look just like..." another black person: $100 • Call her "sister" "sista" "girlfriend" or "girl": $150 each time • Dance Lessons for the Rhythm-Challenged: $250 hour • Challenging Racist Family Members: add $500 per person • Racist Guests at Event: add $500 per event (per racist) • "Will You Tell Them I'm Not a Racist?": $1500 per vouch • Certificate of Association: $100 A 8x10" certificate stating your affiliation with a black person |
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