can Hassellhoff help?
 

thank gaawwwwd you're here!!!! how long is your hose?

:)

Ahem. :)
Unfortunately, only one thing really helps a pyromaniac.

Bring the potato spirits...
 

...and hurry up, you're late for the

Okay, okay. Thanks for the reality check. I was kind of thinking of things more in the line of lighting up rolls of toilet paper in hotel rooms when I'm travelling alone and bored, but mishaps do happen.
(goes to bathroom to throw up).

Heh, it's not the thread and it isn't you, it's a reflection of my own thoughts!

Here, some fireworks for you to calm your stomach, Brynn:


RatMan and his friends were terrible little pyros as kids, always making bolt bombs and whatnot. One of his buddies had a mouthful of butane on a windy day, and couldn't get his lighter to spark... so he turned his face into the corner made by two brick walls... and WHOOSH! No more eyebrows or nose hair. He was very surprised.

Another time, he and his friends were making wicks for some explosive home project. They had a bowl of gunpowder on the kitchen table and were hanging wicks up to dry on a string above it. One clever boy decided to check if the wicks were dry, so he held his lighter up to one and sparked it.

While they all watched aghast, the spark dropped to the bowl and ignited the gunpowder. It boiled up and over in a mass of black smoke, and they fled out the door. When they returned, the bowl had gone through the table, and through the kitchen floor, and left a smoking smudge on the basement concrete.

They didn't see that boy again for a long time.

^Burning Man, yesyesyes, an excellent choice.^

Sorry - I've been a wee bit combustible myself lately, taking every single little thing way too personally. Maybe a little crack will just take the edge off...ahhh, that's better. Thanks for the pretty pictures, folks. :o

Keep the ah, home fires burning.

:)

Burning down the house
 

^ ^ ^