Join Date: Dec 2002
I don’t know anything more relaxing than waking up on a warm Sunday morning, when homework isn’t on my mind, and the sunlight is so bright and pleasant you can choke on it.
I yawn a deep and final yawn, look at my old and grubby watch, get up out of bed, and spot a duck. Baffled as I am, I shake my head hoping it was only the Sunday-morning excitement. I still see the duck.
“Hi,” I say quizzically.
“Oh no, no, no,” said the duck with a mixture of a British and I-don’t-quite-know kind of accent, “You must never say ‘hi’, only ‘hello’.”
Not knowing what to say, I reply like a typical person in the situation of a magical duck suddenly appearing, commenting on their speech, “Okay…”
“My god, not in that tone, old lad,” said the duck nonchalantly, “now go brush up, and eat your breakfast.”
I stare at the duck for a couple of seconds, then follow the duck’s instructions as if he were my mother. I get a death-look from the duck, signaling me to hurry up. As I walk to the restroom, a turtle appeared out of nowhere.
“Where have you been Brewster, I have been looking all over for you,” said the turtle to the duck, “and who is your friend here?”
“This is John,” replied the duck.
Trying to get a hold of myself, I state, “I am Nathan!”
“Oh no, no, no, John is much, much better,” said the duck.
The turtle ponders, trying to make up his mind, “Well, then John, I’m sorry, but Brewster here is late for our appointment.”
“Okay…” I say.
Immediately the turtle lifts up its head saying, “Uhh, do you have to say it in such a rude tone? Now go brush up, and eat your breakfast.”
Adding to that, the duck says, “That’s exactly what I told John.”
"It's Nath . . ." I start to say, but stop myself for fear of being rude yet again. There is no reasonable explanation of why I am afraid of offending this talking duck and his turtle friend. I guess there is no way of knowing how you will react to random talking animals in your home until they are actually there.
I decide to play the animals' own game. "I beg your pardon, good duck, but you rather rudely failed to introduce yourself."
The duck says "quack." and looks at the turtle and gives what appears to be a wink.
Under his breath the turtle says "egad, I think he actually heard us!"
"shhhhhh," said the duck. "Er, I mean "QUACK!""
The turtle, being a turtle, said nothing at all but only pulled his head into his neck until he appeared as if he was wearing a... well... a turtle neck.
Nathan, trying to get a grip on what was happening around him, asks "how long have i been sleeping?"
The turtle said something, but nobody heard because he was still in his shell, and just before Brewster could reply his coat of feathers fell off!
"AH!!!!! I'M NAKED!"
Finally I realized what this meant! I had been longing for crispy roast duck for weeks, and here was one, already plucked! I was so thrilled. I grabbed the duck and ran down the spiral staircase. my parents had already gone to work at the airport, and i was all alone.
The turtle followed me, barking like a dog and laying an egg on every step he descended. I couldn't believe my luck! Fried eggs as well! I gripped the duck tighter and licked my lips. This would be a breakfast to remeber!
Quickly I tossed the duck into a pot of boiling water. The pot exploded in a cloud of blue flames and knocked me back 5 feet. My head hit the counter and I slipped into darkness...
Upon regaining conciousness, I was immediately aware of my strange new surroundings...