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Old 01-23-2009, 03:47 AM   #3456
dddrum
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The Hills north of Mouseland, sunny FLA.
Posts: 1,264
FIVE YEARS LATER...

Heh heh. The funniest thing...

but seriously, let's get right to it. Quink. The field was slim but pithy (for the Mudville nine that day), and I must say that it wasn't easy to pick a winner. Oh who am I kidding? It was ridiculously easy to pick a winner. The hard part was making sure that the winner was, in fact, the best entry. Or at least one of them. To help me with this, I employed a Flemish monk, who rendered each entry with the finest calligraphy, illuminating them in 13th century style (which was, generally, by candlelight), and most importantly, putting bigass numbers on 'em, so's I could keep 'em straight. So. Here's the rundown:

31,419.) YsaPur EsChomuw had the highest number, partially explainable by the fact that it was a Multiple Entry. Or, rather, THEY. Was. *ahurm* The first one in,

1. quick kinky sex with a peppery twist
2. the curl in a pig's tail

was quite funny, but begged the question, "What would you call twisted sex with kinky pigtails?" That the answer (Wendy's Triple Stacker) was not addressed explains its unceremonious disposal. The last one in,

to shrink from hasty judging

was a rotten egg. No, not really, ha ha. But it was a multiple, so tsk.

17.) Stephi_B's "quantum" entry gave me no solace. Shaken, but unstirred, I cranked my reading glasses up to the next power and tried again.

an unpredictable entity of a physical quantity which can perfectly mimic a quantum at and for any given time;
colloquially also often called "cheeky cheating quantum" (CCQ)
CCQs are promising candidates for completely indecipherable, irreversible quantum encoding and thus currently the main focus of scientific interest of governments, military and secret services worldwide.

Oog. By the third sentence, I'm not even sure I was still awake. I just remember all these scientists chasing me down long corridors, while somebody kept playing old Monkees songs (I think it might've been The Monkees), and I was saying, "Why, Miss Stephi, without my glasses, you're illegible!" Fortunately, Miss_B had another, far more decipherable angle to play.

the touch of magic needed to make the universe stop turning, take a deep breath, and then start turning the other way round

Now that, chirrens, is pure poetry. I could really believe that that might, in fact, truly define a quink. It is just too bad that everybody got all hot and bothered by multiple entries while I was gone, but hey, far be it from me to buck a trend. Anathema is ath anathema dothes.. err, does.

8.) xfox's simple, elegant entry

predecessor of quark

would have scored higher if it had been correct. However, Quink was in fact the predecessor of Justice Robert Bork, Reagan's controversial Supreme Court nominee from the mid-1980's. "Oo," as Alex Trebek is wont to say, "sooreee."

E.)Brynn snags the bronze this go-round, with her mini-tribute to Broadway ...or is it to Cervantes? Or Richard Kiley? Nevertheless,

(v.) to bear the unbearable sorrow, to fight the unbeatable foe.

induced an armour-rattling chuckle, to which I respond with a tilt of the ol' windmill, and the Third Place Award.

.) I had a real actual honest-ta-God dilemma in choosing between the top two entrants. I mean I went round and round and round... then I started to shout "WOOOOOO WOOOOOO! Dingdingdingding!!" and all the neighborhood kids began chasing me down the street with wonder and delight. Herewith, my problem...

From treekisser:

quink n. the sound made by a hog following a meal of sour pickles and persimmons

and, courtesy of lukkucairi:

quink (n) : the secret wink of the freemasons

It's a dead heat, I tells ya! In fact, I'm tempted to declare a tie, but therein lieth wimpdom... so I'm gonna suck it up, and with thanks to all you definers, I bestow upon lukkucairi the silver medal, and declare

TREEKISSER IS THE CHAMPEEN!

Oh yeah, a quink is actually a bartender's nipple.

(No? Umm... Marcus? A little help, please?)
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