How I Burned my Dink By JesusTitties
One morning, i woke up on my day off - and because i had my own flat, i had the privacy to walk around, sleep and do anything i want in the nude. As i normally did.
What was there to have for breakfast? I wondered.. and yes, i secretly pumped my fist as i noticed a fresh pound of bacon in my fridge.
Grabbing the bacon, i tossed onto the pan and lit up the burner to my stove excited at the concept ill be having bacon this morning.
Now, for those of you who are unaware of the male systematic code - normally (at least those of us under 35) we wake up with a boner. At least i do. If that makes me a freak then JesusTitties is a freak.
So, as i was cooking bacon at full mast - i reached over the stove to grab some salt to throw in the pan.
Because I am a large guy, the stove was precisely at mid waist level, and as i reached the tip of my dink pressed against the hot coil on my stove, which had been burning for a good 3 minutes at the time.
As i jumped back, i could immediately smell the burnt flesh in the air. I ran to the washroom and stuck my dink in the sink, with one leg up on the toilet, the other straddeled over the sink, flushing it with water.
It was too late.
It was bleeding, and i could still smell the burnt flesh in the apartment. I decided to put a cream on it and go to the hospital, where i was treated with 3rd degree burns.
For 2 weeks i could not wear boxers, anything confining and basically had to take a leave of work. As well, report to my seniority with regard to my injury.
By the time i return to work - everyone knew and my desk was cluttered with pictures and hype regarding my burnt dink.
The moral of the story?
Burning your weener hurts more than anything you could ever imagine.