Funny, I never imagine I'd find myself here. Not now, not in this place, not with these hideous shoes on my feet.
"Cough," said the man behind me.
"Uh what?" I asked. "Did you just 'say' the word cough instead of coughing?"
"I may have said cough, but cough I did." said the man. "Who the hell are you to ask anyway? Here's my card. Call me."
I looked at the card. It was blank.
Then I looked up at the man.
He was gone.
And I was still wearing those hideous shoes.
"Those shoes are hideous," said the man.
He's back again. How did he do that?
"Magic." he laughed.
I cried. This is too fvcking wierd.
But life had always shown me weird twists. It was like I was a magnet for that kind of thing.
I looked down at my feet, hideous shoes and all, and looked back up, hoping the man had disappeared again.
He had not.
He was an odd little man for being so tall. Face all teeth and freckles and smelled of brandy wine and cellophane paper. I flipped the card over to find a small but accurate caricature of him was proudly drawn in the right hand corner.
I smelled sulfer. He was gone.
And I was on my way to the market to buy a turnip.
Swirling flakes of snow vivified this moment....trodding along....red shoes, yellow trim. Bowling shoes? No, too much support. Grim reminder of adolescent trauma in the bowling alley. With Teresa May. St. Teresa. Careful what you wish for, she used to warn. It might just.....Whoa! Nearly fell. Got to keep my mind on here and now. Gravy. I need gravy and biscuits. Why!? Have I ever even eaten gravy and biscuits?! Evil magician.
I did wear gravy once though. Late one night, after many Hershey's kisses and tequia shots. I'd rather not talk about that though.
Call that guy butter because he's on a roll!