Tuesday, September 30th, 7:30 PM
Oh my! Hello Kitty vibraters. Itís as if the good lord himself were trying to speak to me in some sort of code. Wow! I must really be special. I think I might get that hello kitty fetish lingerie and vibrator. Yes.
I have been looking in the classified section of the newspaper trying to find a used fax machine. I need something to hit people with, and since the fax machine doesnít work, thatís what I use. Doesnít that make sense? No? Well, screw you. Since I couldnít figure out how to get the computer to work, I think Iíve taken care of two problems at once by hitting it with the defunct fax machine. Iím going to ask for a raise tomorrow.
I canít ignore this nagging urge for head cheese much longer. God, I wish Michelle would stoop looking at me that way! It makes me lusty. Look at the way she rolls her eyes, the way she crinkles her nose, narrows her eyes, and makes that tight little frown. I think it means she is attracted to me!