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Old 08-03-2007, 08:57 PM   #91
constantly amazed
Brynn's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
Parts 21-43

Rule #21 - On Sarcasm and its Transparency

21a. There are at least three types of sarcasm: Self-inflicted, second party; usually directed to whom you are speaking, and absent third party.

21ai. Examples:
I. Self-inflicted:
"I meant to do that."
II. Second Party:
"You meant to do that."
III. Third Party:
"He meant to do that but he didn't."

Rule #22. - On Coming of Age Rituals
22a. Virtual drug and alcohol use:
22ai. Slug licking is not permitted by those under 16, unless it is just a regular, non-hallucinogenic slug. Parental permission form 27-3 must be submitted in triplicate 4-6 months before proposed post.

22b.Psychoactive/hallucinogenic toads require proof of age 18 or a 212-page book report on Oil and Gas: Federal Income Taxation, by Patrick Hennessee

22c. Alchohol, of course, requires the poster to be 21, or previously winning the dictionary thread

22d. Minors may not visit virtual brothels except as research for the above book report.

22e. Virtual circumcision rituals are strongly discouraged.

22f. Before the permission to the legendary Hot Asian Chick parties is given, a 36h (minimum!) introductory course must be passed at Mr Johnston's. The office is open for applications on Wednesdays 10.00-12.00 MET. Please do not forget to fill the 10 page form beforehand, Mr. Johnston will thoroughly check them.

Rule #23. - On Private Messaging

23a. It's best to be nice. However, if you have constructive criticism that must be given, consider sending it in a PM rather than airing it on the board. Rules 15-20 apply to private messages every bit as much as public posts. Revisit Rule 19b/bi before you click send.

23b. If you have destructive criticism, send it to yourself.

23c. Sending the same person more than one picture of cute kittens per day is a capital offense.

Rule #24. - On Choosing a User Name

24a. palindromes are permitted

24b. Variations on zefrank are not clever and are not permitted after July 29, 2007

Rule #25. - On Meeting in Real Life Protocol
25a. duties to report the Incident to the documentation
25ai. Sperm samples are entirely unnecessary, except in the case of paternity suits.

25b. Possibly occurring bad vibes are to be left outside in the cruel, cold, real world
25bii. Any good vibes resulting from a meeting are to be brought here and shared with the community

Rule #26. - On Staleness

26a. How stale is this bread exactly?
26ai. Have you tried toasting the bread?
26aii. If you can drive a decking screw more than 2 inches into a concrete block with the bread, see 26b.

26b. Where threads go to die: The back of the line. Sometimes they are just pining for the fjords and will be gloriously revived if you put 4000 volts through them. Sometimes not.

We all have to learn to let go some time.

Rule #27. - On Incorrigible Asshattery of All Kinds

27a. Offenders have their asses made into hats, to be worn by the moderators on special board holidays.

27b. Repeat offenders have their hats made into asses, which they must wear as a prosthesis, excepting on special board holidays.

Rule #28. - On Smilies and Their Ability to Cause Seizures En Masse

28a. Using more than 3 times on a single day will be punished by a week's ban on this smiley. Any further offense in that direction will lead to a month's ban to use any smiley but

Rule #29. - On Deletions and Post-Post Editing of One's Own Writing

29a. In case of repetitive and/or extensive editing add a reason, best in form of a small, witty rhyme to milden your fellow monkeys' annoyance.

Rule #30. - On Quoting Others' Writing and the Purposes Thereof

30a. Good idea for reference purposes, such as when there are several intervening posts or a page break, or when you want to refer only to a specific portion of another's post.

30b. It isn't much use in a game of charades.

Rule #31. - On Lurking

31a. Only logged in board members can hear you lurking unless you are on invisible mode, and really, what's the big problem with lurking, again?

31b. We don't lurk in your toilet, so please don't pee in our board.

Rule #32. - On Embedding Videos

32a. It's fun, isn't it?

32b. Please label not safe for work videos as "nsfw".

32c. The following types of videos are expressly forbidden:
i. - kindergarten graduation footage.
ii. - clips that mention "self-esteem", "you-ness", or "actualization" more than 37 times.
iii. - country-western music videos recorded after 1996.
iv. - political speeches.
v. - for the sake of anime.
32e. Parodies of the above are expressly encouraged.

32f. In the case of unembeddables, mild flirting remains permissable.

Rule #33. - On Vacations That Fall During Rulemaking Periods
1. If at all possible, stay connected the entire vacation so that you won't miss anything. If you miss anything, you will be ridiculed, ignored, and banned, in that order, with reckless abandon and extreme prejudice.
2. You must post by subjecting your laptop to the wireless network at the place you are staying. You will lose passwords to all your bank accounts, brokerage services, personal message boards, and dead-head spam computers you currently can access.
3. Rebuilding your life afterward may require creating a new identity or stealing someone else's. If this happens, do NOT create a™ StrictlyCommercialShadowPuppet® unless they have also exploited your original™ StrictlyCommercialUserAccount®
[indent]4. If you are funkytuba or Brynn, these rules do not apply.

Rule #34. - On the Extensive Use of Brackets and Nested Sentences

34a. First time offenders are to post in sentences of 1-5 words for a week. Any use of brackets during this week will extend the penalty period by a further day.

34b. Repeat offenders have to wear the Bob's Big Boy costume.

Rule #35. - On the Development of a Fulsome Plenitude of Awesomeness
What Mik does is pretty cool.

Rule #36. - On Being Sideways
-see Rules #5 #8 #11 #15 #20 #21 #27

Rule #37. - On Back Doors

37a. It's still not legal to use them in Texas.

Rule #38. - On Cliques

Rule #39. - On Invisibility
Invisibility is vastly preferable to other super powers such as flying or being able to stretch to infinity or breathe underwater.

Rule #40. - On Siblings
Siblings are nice, but full disclosure is required, unless you don't feel like it, or unless you are twins.

Rule #41. - On How to Properly Distribute Attention and Huggles

Rule #42. - On Evacuation

42a. plan and emergency
Include a week's supply of water in your "go bag" and an axe.

42b. email contact list in case of fire or flood

Rule #43. - On When to Makes Polls

43a. poll the people on all things and everything

43b. always allow at least four options and other[/quote]

Addendum to "On bullying" but I don't feel like collating and I don't feel like formatting and choose to leave it for more talented board members smiley face:
All offense is self-inflicted, for how we choose to react to bullying determines the intensity of how offended we actually end up being.
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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