I got you a new red riding hood, fantabulously authentic-looking*. Wolves guaranteed to give you no trouble when the apocalypse hits later this year.
*also suitable for bullfighting. Or even better, bullsh** fighting!
I also got you this jellyfish hat, because it is nearly as awesome as you are.
I count myself lucky to have happened upon your acquaintance. You're just lovely and so much fun. I can't think of a better way for a year to start than on your birthday.