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Old 12-24-2012, 02:10 AM   #597
funkytuba
Spone to Proonerisms
 
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The Left Coast
Posts: 4,530
Coffee's extreme fear of motion has led him to some desperate lengths. His house, even though it's built on clear bedrock, has pylons every meter driven down into the bedrock *under* the bedrock. He has qualified for Amazon MegaPrime, a service for their ultimate customers where his orders are put into a separate queue and shot ballistically from their warehouses to land in a specially installed automated retrieval net dangling from the frontage of his house. This top secret service has a direct line into NORAD so they can stay appraised of any deliveries and remove them from the Big Board. He never has to drive if he doesn't want to, and he usually doesn't want to.
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