Northern Territory man claims his cat can swear
A MAN claims his pet cat is a bit too brainy for his own good and can speak English - a total of seven different words so far, including the F-word.
Robert 'RJ' Duncan, of Palmerston, in the Northern Territory says his budgie Picininny can also speak.
But when the Northern Territory News first visited the ex-boxer, 34, and his wife Sandra, 32, at their home, the house-bound moggie grumpily declined to comment.
Instead he scratched Mr Duncan a few times before bolting to his bedroom and barricading himself in his cupboard.
But during a second visit, Mischief was much friendlier. And more talkative. All gathered heard him speak to Sandra, calling her "mum''.
Mr Duncan said the two-year-old cat - which he and his wife adopted from his feral mother in Katherine - was most vocal at night.
"He starts mouthing off when he wants his food - when we start cooking,'' he said.
"He can say seven words all up: mum, no, now, what, f--k, pr--k and why.
"He can't say 'dad' yet, which is a bit of a pr--k. That's how he got the word 'pr--k' I reckon, because I say it a lot.''
Mr Duncan - sitting at their wooden table rolling a roll-your-own - said Mischief's first word was 'mum', which he started saying about the age of six months.
Human babies are a little slower than the skittish kitty. They can usually manage to produce a slurred 'mama' or 'dada' about 10 months of age.
Mr Duncan said Mischief wasn't apeing the words - he knew what he was saying.
"He calls out to (Sandra) and everything - he'll sit at the back window, while she's in the garden, calling out 'mum'."
"In the evening time, if you don't drop whatever you're doing and pay attention to him, he calls you 'f--king pr--k'.
"If he really cracks the sh-ts, he'll piss in his drinking water just to let you know he's really sh--ty."
The potty mouthed puss doesn't take non-attention kindly.
Mischief spent his time during the Duncan's wedding swearing at the guests in the backyard from his bedroom window.
Mr Duncan said the guests were pre-warned, so "they pretty much ignored him".
The Duncans' budgie is less adventurous with its words.
It just says "s--t".
Mr Duncan will now be trying to film his moggie to prove Mischief can really talk.
"He's a character ... he's one of these cats that's a bit too brainy for his own good."