This from I Am Eating My Husband's Soul:
It's just been such beautiful spring weather! The only cloud on our ...h-thingy is how Eric has gotten so FAT while I was away. Even with a mouth full of dog teeth, he's not all he could be. Like most married men, he will let himself go completely, if I'd let him. Problem? or OPPORTUNITY! I found an old wheel chair this weekend at an Estate Sale up the road from me. I had Eric push me and a gallon of Dentini, some snacks and my dog everywhere. In town we went around store after store of things so hideously expensive and breakable that the sales people literally chased us down isles and into nooks, asking frantically if they could help. He pushed me around various parks, and finally just up the highway until I said STOP! I am out of DRINK!
At last we sat outside a cafe in the Northend, I made a sign out of cardboard that said 'My Husband is FAT and I can't cook. Please help.' I got $46 and a coupon for $1.00 Subway. I gave the coupon to Eric. Fat people love Subway. My dog and I shared a pizza, extra cheese and jalepenos, and I enjoyed a pitcher of beer. When it was almost too dark to see Eric's pain, he pushed me home.
Eric was very tired at the end of this weekend, and I think he lost a few pounds. Sadness came late last evening when the police came for the wheel chair. Turns out there wasn't an Estate Sale. It was just an old person trying to get out of his handicapped van. He was confused when I pressed $20 in his hand and took the chair. I swear he acted thankful to get that much for the ancient thing. The oily old geez got his chair back and I'm out my cash. It was worth it, though, and I'm still up $26!