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10-29-2006, 01:01 PM
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#2 |
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monkey
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,538
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call to action
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I blame that Welsh tart! |
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10-29-2006, 01:11 PM
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#3 |
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meretricious dilettante
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
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best practice
regional service users |
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10-29-2006, 02:14 PM
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#4 |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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Found Poem: Superior Speak Translation Guide
I'm glad you asked me that. Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer. Our business is going through a paradigm shift. We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something different. You just don't understand our business. We don't understand our business. I'll never lie to you. The truth will change frequently. Value-added. Expensive. That's very interesting. I disagree. I don't disagree. I disagree. I don't totally disagree with you. You may be right, but I don't care. You have to show some flexibility. You have to do it whether you want to or not. I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal. One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid. You obviously put a lot of work into this. This is awful. Help me to understand. I don't know what you're talking about and I don't think you do either. Your project is on hold. We've put a bullet in it. You needed to be more proactive. You should have protected me from myself. Wrong answer. You didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. Individual contributor. Employee who does real work. We have an opportunity. You have a problem. We have to leverage our resources. You're working weekends. We want you to be the executive champion of this project. I want to be able to blame you for my mistakes. We need to syndicate this decision. We need to spread the blame if it backfires. I'd like your buy-in on this. I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs. In a perfect world ... Just get it working and get it out the door. We have to put on our marketing hats. We have to put ethics aside. Cost of ownership has become a significant issue. We want all of the benefits and none of the costs. The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees. The upcoming reductions will benefit me. You need to see the big picture. My boss thinks it's a good idea. There are larger issues at stake. I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts. We're going to follow a strict methodology here. We're going to do it my way. My mind is made up. I am adamant on the subject. There is no room for discussion. But if you want to discuss it further, my door is always open. **** you. I appreciate your contribution. **** you.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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10-30-2006, 06:28 PM
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#6 |
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no more nice girl
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,054
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I certainly hear what you're saying.
restraint-free No.
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He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all. |
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10-30-2006, 09:32 PM
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#7 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,617
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are we all on the same page
fabulous managing expectations |
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11-01-2006, 12:03 PM
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#8 |
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left hanging
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream
Posts: 10,071
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on special projects - waiting to be sacked
pursuing other interests - sacked strategic solution - a manager's pet project tactical solution - project not the pet of any manager, yet annoyingly necessary to the operations of the business |
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11-17-2006, 01:59 PM
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#10 |
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Amateur Human
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The Hills north of Mouseland, sunny FLA.
Posts: 1,264
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We used to call our H.R. department "Inhuman Racehorses", because of all the shite they dumped on us daily.
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...or words to that effect. |
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11-17-2006, 08:19 PM
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#11 |
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Lollypop!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: we are all made of stars
Posts: 11,690
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It's a slippery slope.
Ps. Irregardless is not a word.
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Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss |
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09-26-2007, 03:21 AM
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#12 |
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I can benchpress 300 oz.
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 281
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In 1989 I came close to inventing one catch phrase that probably would have been remembered for a long time. It happened on my first day working as a temp for the director of software engineering of a large Fortune 500 company. He dictated a letter to me. It was an invitation to several other high level directors asking them to attend the latest Continuous Quality Improvement seminar. At the end of the letter he said, "I would like to thank you for taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity."
I was nervous. He was demanding and scary. A lot was on the line. But I typed the memo, made the twenty or so copies and put them in the outgoing mailstops. On a lark, I decided to take one last glance at my original before filing it away. To my shock I noticed I had typed, "I would like to thank you for taking advantage of this wonderful pooportunity." instead of "opportunity". Damn my "finger dyslexia". I tore into the mailroom and right before the mail boy came along I grabbed all the packets. I typed up the letter again. At that level of management, any outgoing correspondence must have a signed original on file. I managed to get his signature on the second letter when I slipped it in with some other memos. He was never the wiser. So, here is my office jargon. It is home grown: "wonderful pooportunity" and "finger dyslexia"
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Just another out of work flea circus coreographer. "Love is.........an act of endless forgiveness." |
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09-26-2007, 08:51 AM
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#13 |
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Bird of Prey
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 249
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A "wonderful pooportunity" could mean "come listen to our sales pitch, and then buy a bunch of shit that sounds wonderful, but that you don't really need."
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09-27-2007, 01:27 AM
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#14 |
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n
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,752
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09-27-2007, 02:47 AM
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#15 |
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intermittent guest
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: home
Posts: 130
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punctuation dispenser
It goes right next to the tape and comes in handy when deciphering the skid marks of someone's keyboard diarrhea.
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possibilities, possibilities |
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