figure of speech - ZEFRANK.COM

auntie aubrey · 04-01-2008, 10:38 PM

i was just sitting here remembering some of the hairbrained figures of speech my mother used to use. my two favorites are as follows:

"like a cow pissing on a flat rock"
this is a very specific description of a particular type of rain. if you imagine the described phenomenon, you'll probably recognize the type of rainstorm concerned.

"funnier than a rubber crutch"
the way in which this one was used led me to believe that, apparently, there is no higher form of humor than watching an invalid struggling with an undependable and dangerous substitution for valid medical equipment. it struck me as oddly cruel and bizarre as a standard of humor.

please share your colorful and/or odd figures of speech, real or imagined. in-depth analysis optional.

Peregrine · 04-02-2008, 12:14 AM

This one is predominantly used in New Brunswick. I wouldn't be surprised to hear it used elsewhere, but I hear tell that apparently it originated with us:

Happy as a pig in sh*t

That phrase always struck me as odd. Because as we all know, pigs like mud, because they don't have sweat glands, and mud helps them regulate their temperature on hot days. So if a pig were in mud, I"m sure he'd be quite content. But sh*t? If a pig were in sh*t, he would probably have the same reaction as any other animal short of a dung beetle or something, namely, "what the fvck am I doing in this sh*t?" I don't imagine he'd be pleased.

trisherina · 04-02-2008, 01:42 AM

...but... only when he hungers... Pig's in Zen...

Anyway,

Useless as tits on a teddy bear is the characteristically somewhat cryptic favourite from my oldest bestest friend, and while I have adopted her Up and down like a whore's pants on payday as my own, I must confess my shameless theft, Twiggy.

YsaPur EsChomuw · 04-02-2008, 02:36 AM

My Dad's phrase:
his mouth walks like a duck's ass
only I can't translate it properly, because I can't find the correct verb (the Hungarian mouthwalk here denotes a mindless, annoying flow of words)

It brings back pictures of my Grandma's yard: ducklings producing liquid, foul-smelling green sh*t, happily shaking their butt after the act and walking away pretending nothing happened.

Unfortunately, it reminds me of one of my colleagues as well: she would amble in, pour on us a waterfall of malice and then walk away, leaving behind the unpleasant smell of her presence.

Marcus Bales · 04-02-2008, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YsaPur EsChomuw

My Dad's phrase:
his mouth walks like a duck's ass
only I can't translate it properly, because I can't find the correct verb (the Hungarian mouthwalk here denotes a mindless, annoying flow of words)

logorrhea

Stephi_B · 04-02-2008, 09:15 AM

The only thing that comes to my mind now (and that always causes non-Bavarians to giggle or look a bit puzzled) is

rejoice like a schnitzel

I have no idea why of all things schnitzels are supposed to have such a bright mood

Hyakujo's Fox · 04-02-2008, 09:59 PM

price of fish in our neck of the woods.

SHE'S the cat's mother. the perfectly perpendicular direction to take in any mother-child argument.

Marcus Bales · 04-02-2008, 10:12 PM

Couldn’t pour piss from a cowhide boot with complete directions on the heel.

Plain Talk
William Jay Smith

“There are people so dumb,” my father said,
“They don’t know beans from an old bedstead.
They can’t tell one thing from another,
Ella Cinders from Whistler’s Mother,
A porcupine quill from a peacock feather,
A buffalo-flop from Florentine leather.
They don’t know their ass from a sassafras root
And couldn’t pour piss from a cowhide boot
With complete directions on the heel.”

That’s how he felt – that’s how I feel.

Brynn · 04-02-2008, 10:48 PM

she's crazy, or a few sandwiches short of a picnic - don't get her mad or she'll jump on you like ugly on an ape.

as for stupid -
he's a dim bulb, doesn't have all his neurons firing at once, dumb as a doorknob

while "she's pretty as the capital letter S."

Thanks Auntie, I'd forgotten all about "well, I'll swan." What a strange thing to say, isn't it really? Funny how a little phrase can conjure up a whole person.

a rejoinder to something completely over-the-top stupid and silly in our household when we're joking around is "Ape laughs, we have fun!" For some reason, this just tickles family members and starts the laughing all over again.

My best friends (who are Venezuelan) used to feed me as a starving college student. Even if I couldn't stay and visit for long, they'd insist that I sit down and eat, saying "Indio comido, Indio ido" Sorry if that's misspelled - I don't speak much Spanish, unfortunately, but it translates to "Indian eats, Indian leaves."

YsaPur EsChomuw · 04-03-2008, 10:03 AM

he's pulling the horse-hide means he's asleep, I have no idea, why. On second thoughts, it might something connected with the noise.

to threw out the fox-hide means to vomit, maybe because of colour-related associations.

trisherina · 04-03-2008, 10:12 AM

Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
(most things are)

Dumber than a sack of hammers.

Looks like she's been beaten with an ugly stick.

Peregrine · 04-03-2008, 10:24 AM

Another variation is what's that got to do with the price of tea in China?

Marcus Bales · 04-03-2008, 01:12 PM

As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

brightpearl · 04-03-2008, 02:11 PM

I love this thread.
I high-tailed it in here like an eight-legged dog.

lukkucairi · 04-03-2008, 03:46 PM

how could I forget thick as a brick shithouse?

04-01-2008, 10:38 PM	#1
auntie aubrey excursions Join Date: May 2006 Location: beyond the call of duty Posts: 2,443	figure of speech i was just sitting here remembering some of the hairbrained figures of speech my mother used to use. my two favorites are as follows: "like a cow pissing on a flat rock" this is a very specific description of a particular type of rain. if you imagine the described phenomenon, you'll probably recognize the type of rainstorm concerned. "funnier than a rubber crutch" the way in which this one was used led me to believe that, apparently, there is no higher form of humor than watching an invalid struggling with an undependable and dangerous substitution for valid medical equipment. it struck me as oddly cruel and bizarre as a standard of humor. please share your colorful and/or odd figures of speech, real or imagined. in-depth analysis optional. __________________ that dog won't hunt, monsignor

04-02-2008, 01:42 AM	#3
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	...but... only when he hungers... Pig's in Zen... Anyway, Useless as tits on a teddy bear is the characteristically somewhat cryptic favourite from my oldest bestest friend, and while I have adopted her *Up and down like a whore's pants on payday* as my own, I must confess my shameless theft, Twiggy. __________________ Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

04-02-2008, 09:15 AM	#6
Stephi_B waaaaaaa :) Join Date: May 2007 Location: Berlin Posts: 3,875	The only thing that comes to my mind now (and that always causes non-Bavarians to giggle or look a bit puzzled) is rejoice like a schnitzel I have no idea why of all things schnitzels are supposed to have such a bright mood

04-02-2008, 10:12 PM	#8
Marcus Bales ________________ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea. Posts: 8,967	Couldn’t pour piss from a cowhide boot with complete directions on the heel. Plain Talk William Jay Smith “There are people so dumb,” my father said, “They don’t know beans from an old bedstead. They can’t tell one thing from another, Ella Cinders from Whistler’s Mother, A porcupine quill from a peacock feather, A buffalo-flop from Florentine leather. They don’t know their ass from a sassafras root And couldn’t pour piss from a cowhide boot With complete directions on the heel.” That’s how he felt – that’s how I feel. __________________ My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure.

04-02-2008, 10:48 PM	#9
Brynn constantly amazed Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness Posts: 6,206	she's crazy, or a few sandwiches short of a picnic - don't get her mad or she'll jump on you like ugly on an ape. as for stupid - he's a dim bulb, doesn't have all his neurons firing at once, dumb as a doorknob while "she's pretty as the capital letter S." Thanks Auntie, I'd forgotten all about "well, I'll swan." What a strange thing to say, isn't it really? Funny how a little phrase can conjure up a whole person. a rejoinder to something completely over-the-top stupid and silly in our household when we're joking around is "Ape laughs, we have fun!" For some reason, this just tickles family members and starts the laughing all over again. My best friends (who are Venezuelan) used to feed me as a starving college student. Even if I couldn't stay and visit for long, they'd insist that I sit down and eat, saying "Indio comido, Indio ido" Sorry if that's misspelled - I don't speak much Spanish, unfortunately, but it translates to "Indian eats, Indian leaves." __________________ 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction.

04-02-2008, 12:14 AM	#2
Peregrine Bird of Prey Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 249	This one is predominantly used in New Brunswick. I wouldn't be surprised to hear it used elsewhere, but I hear tell that apparently it originated with us: *Happy as a pig in sht** That phrase always struck me as odd. Because as we all know, pigs like mud, because they don't have sweat glands, and mud helps them regulate their temperature on hot days. So if a pig were in mud, I"m sure he'd be quite content. But sht? If a pig were in sht, he would probably have the same reaction as any other animal short of a dung beetle or something, namely, "what the fvck am I doing in this sh*t?" I don't imagine he'd be pleased.

04-02-2008, 02:36 AM	#4
YsaPur EsChomuw oi Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 5,208	My Dad's phrase: his mouth walks like a duck's ass only I can't translate it properly, because I can't find the correct verb (the Hungarian mouthwalk here denotes a mindless, annoying flow of words) It brings back pictures of my Grandma's yard: ducklings producing liquid, foul-smelling green sh*t, happily shaking their butt after the act and walking away pretending nothing happened. Unfortunately, it reminds me of one of my colleagues as well: she would amble in, pour on us a waterfall of malice and then walk away, leaving behind the unpleasant smell of her presence.

04-02-2008, 09:59 PM	#7
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	price of fish in our neck of the woods. SHE'S the cat's mother. the perfectly perpendicular direction to take in any mother-child argument.

04-03-2008, 10:03 AM	#10
YsaPur EsChomuw oi Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 5,208	he's pulling the horse-hide means he's asleep, I have no idea, why. On second thoughts, it might something connected with the noise. to threw out the fox-hide means to vomit, maybe because of colour-related associations.

04-03-2008, 10:12 AM	#11
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. (most things are) Dumber than a sack of hammers. Looks like she's been beaten with an ugly stick. __________________ Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

04-03-2008, 10:24 AM	#12
Peregrine Bird of Prey Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 249	Another variation is what's that got to do with the price of tea in China?

04-03-2008, 01:12 PM	#13
Marcus Bales ________________ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea. Posts: 8,967	As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs __________________ My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure.

04-03-2008, 02:11 PM	#14
brightpearl Rhinoceros fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,749	I love this thread. I high-tailed it in here like an eight-legged dog.

04-03-2008, 03:46 PM	#15
lukkucairi earth worker Join Date: May 2006 Location: on the planet Posts: 5,844	how could I forget thick as a brick shithouse?

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread: