Inappropriate Interpretations of Christmas Songs - ZEFRANK.COM

Marcus Bales · 12-21-2010, 05:25 PM

I've got a pal here in Cleveland who has been arguing that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a date rape song. I've told him that's ridiculous, that it's by Frank Loesser, the king of the witty elliptical approach to love songs, that it's clear from the song that the woman comes over to the man's house, so who's seducing who, here, and finally asked him whether he thinks that Loesser's "Slow Boat to China" is a kidnapping song, all to no avail. He's still insisting on applying inappropriate political correctness.

So I'd like to get a list of other Christmas songs with equally inappropriate interpretations in order to mock his ideas about that song. I have a modest collection here. I'd appreciate it if you could add to it:

Santa Claus is Coming to Town -- big brotherism, stalking
I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- adultery
All I want for Christmas is You -- slavery
Santa Baby -- prostitution, blackmail

Any others?

Frieda · 12-21-2010, 05:41 PM

last christmas (i gave you my heart) - organ harvesting

Hyakujo's Fox · 12-21-2010, 08:16 PM

Ding Dong Merrily on High - WEED!

trisherina · 12-22-2010, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyakujo's Fox

Ding Dong Merrily on High - WEED!

Angels We Have Heard on High, anyone?

P.S. I agree with Marcus' friend. It's a date rape song.

Marcus Bales · 12-22-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trisherina

I agree with Marcus' friend. It's a date rape song.

Seriously? On what grounds? The woman comes over to his house ("I've been hoping you'd drop by") and then gives a series of really bad reasons to leave, all involving what other people might think, and having nothing to do with what she herself wants or thinks, all the while agreeing to stay a few minutes more for a series of equally bad reasons to stay. This is certainly a sexually-charged song, but date rape? Not a chance.

trisherina · 12-22-2010, 04:11 PM

^^^ Dickweed

trisherina · 12-24-2010, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcus Bales

Seriously? On what grounds? The woman comes over to his house ("I've been hoping you'd drop by") and then gives a series of really bad reasons to leave, all involving what other people might think, and having nothing to do with what she herself wants or thinks, all the while agreeing to stay a few minutes more for a series of equally bad reasons to stay. This is certainly a sexually-charged song, but date rape? Not a chance.

Good grief. No, NOT seriously. Date rape wasn't much of a song theme in Dean Martin's heyday, however frequently he may have committed it. It is, however, clearly a song about the whole "no means no" issue, and while its overall treatment is upbeat, the fact that people persistently believe, both within themselves and in interpreting the communication of others, that no doesn't really mean no in the same way around romance as it does around the offer of a third helping of turkey or an offer to inject someone with cortisone to relieve their pain, contains the root of why we end up with one person claiming rape while another claims consensual acts after a one on one "dating" encounter.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd be happy to return the thread to the lighthearted spirit I assume it was intended to observe. On reflection, however, I'd love to see the song about persuading someone to take the cortisol. P.S. WTF is "namonia?"

funkytuba · 12-22-2010, 03:15 AM

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear -- Mass Interspecies Bukkake

YsaPur EsChomuw · 12-22-2010, 03:27 AM

The Twelve Days of Christmas - sensless consumerism

Wait! Isn't it what Christmas is about..?

YsaPur EsChomuw · 12-22-2010, 03:28 AM

Have yourself a merry little Christmas - coming out

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer - integrating alcoholics into society

trisherina · 12-22-2010, 12:17 PM

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- childhood confrontation with moral relativism

Coffee · 12-22-2010, 12:57 PM

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - Cocaine fantasy.

Coffee · 12-22-2010, 12:59 PM

Away in a Manger - Historical Child Protection Services case file

Coffee · 12-22-2010, 01:03 PM

Let it Snow - Favorite carol of Power/Heating Companies.

lukkucairi · 12-22-2010, 01:27 PM

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - alcohol-induced narcolepsy

12-21-2010, 05:25 PM	#1
Marcus Bales ________________ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea. Posts: 8,967	Inappropriate Interpretations of Christmas Songs I've got a pal here in Cleveland who has been arguing that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a date rape song. I've told him that's ridiculous, that it's by Frank Loesser, the king of the witty elliptical approach to love songs, that it's clear from the song that the woman comes over to the man's house, so who's seducing who, here, and finally asked him whether he thinks that Loesser's "Slow Boat to China" is a kidnapping song, all to no avail. He's still insisting on applying inappropriate political correctness. So I'd like to get a list of other Christmas songs with equally inappropriate interpretations in order to mock his ideas about that song. I have a modest collection here. I'd appreciate it if you could add to it: Santa Claus is Coming to Town -- big brotherism, stalking I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- adultery All I want for Christmas is You -- slavery Santa Baby -- prostitution, blackmail Any others? __________________ My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure.

12-21-2010, 05:41 PM	#2
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,503	last christmas (i gave you my heart) - organ harvesting __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

12-22-2010, 04:11 PM	#6
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	^^^ Dickweed __________________ Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

12-22-2010, 03:15 AM	#8
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	It Came Upon a Midnight Clear -- Mass Interspecies Bukkake __________________ ...and another handful of almonds

12-22-2010, 12:17 PM	#11
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- childhood confrontation with moral relativism __________________ Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

12-21-2010, 08:16 PM	#3
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	Ding Dong Merrily on High - WEED!

12-22-2010, 03:27 AM	#9
YsaPur EsChomuw oi Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 5,208	The Twelve Days of Christmas - sensless consumerism Wait! Isn't it what Christmas is about..?

12-22-2010, 03:28 AM	#10
YsaPur EsChomuw oi Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 5,208	Have yourself a merry little Christmas - coming out Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer - integrating alcoholics into society

12-22-2010, 12:57 PM	#12
Coffee Cheeses Save Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Floating Posts: 9,204	I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - Cocaine fantasy.

12-22-2010, 12:59 PM	#13
Coffee Cheeses Save Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Floating Posts: 9,204	Away in a Manger - Historical Child Protection Services case file

12-22-2010, 01:03 PM	#14
Coffee Cheeses Save Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Floating Posts: 9,204	Let it Snow - Favorite carol of Power/Heating Companies.

12-22-2010, 01:27 PM	#15
lukkucairi earth worker Join Date: May 2006 Location: on the planet Posts: 5,844	God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - alcohol-induced narcolepsy

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