imaginary retirement

[trisherina]

Speculate on someone's future, far down the road. Be nice... or not.

Hyakujo's Fox hits on an immutable principle that forever resolves the conundrum known as a the "mind-body problem" while staring out the window of a Swiss patent office. The insight whitens and musses his hair considerably. Happily, the commercial spinoffs of his thesis make him a multibillionaire within the decade, and he spends his golden years blissfully scuba diving with Shalini, his stunning East African trophy wife, studying squid in the deep near Dubai.

madasacutsnake suffers a debilitating right CVA in her early sixties, and the consequent dysphasia limits her to saying only two things clearly: "For ****'s sake," and "More cognac." She takes to a wheelchair though fully ambulatory, and keeps a crocheted afghan and a devoted long-haired dachshund on her lap at all times. To pass the time, she designs elaborate water features for government installations, which affords her a tall, attentive private home care nurse named Halston. After almost a decade of employment, there is an unfortunate accident involving bacon, nudity, and an Elna press which results in his abrupt termination.

Your turn.

[madasacutsnake]

"dysphasia limits her to saying only two things clearly: "For ****'s sake," and "More cognac." She takes to a wheelchair though fully ambulatory"

Perfect!

trisherina discovers that Canada geese are an essential source of glyconutrients and publishes a highly acclaimed cookbook, "Cook Your Goose". It feautures such classic recipes as Wrist Trapper Stuffed Goose and the quintessential Forty Goose Neck Surprise. She becomes obscenely wealthy, buys the Jasper Park Lodge and ensures high speed internet access in every room. Not just the suites.

[trisherina]

Unsound decides he isn't that keen on art, takes the LSATS, does well, goes to law school at Simon Fraser, graduates, works for a firm doing construction law, makes partner in 13 years, buys a house in Shaugnessy with his wife, a physiotherapist he met after a skiing accident, she works very part-time after the two kids and never really goes back, they vacation mostly at their Salt Spring Island fixer-upper with a view of St. Mary's Lake: Unsound finally realizes his dream of turning it into a fishing B&B in 2035, and spends his last days showing people a really good time.

[Smartypants]

At the age of 94, Zenbabe slips on a stray wedge of lime and falls from the table upon which she's been dancing in a Tijuana bar, and she breaks her hip. She is placed in a convalescent home where she becomes extremely unpopular with the other elderly women in residence due to her ability to charm all the male retirees into giving her their rations of tapioca with a simple, palsied shake of her shoulders. Her body is found one morning, limbs akimbo, clutching a small hash pipe, at the bottom of a stairwell where she was pushed by one particularly irate old crone who had accused her of aggravating her husband's already dangerously high blood pressure.

[zenbabe]

At the age of 53 Smartypants is elected into the highest political office as President of the United States of America and the first openly gay president. He holds two terms, reforms local fellatio laws, cures all cancers and finally settles that pesky Israeli/Palestinian conflict. At the age of 81 he dies suddenly during a freak high colonic treatment at a prestigious Beverly Hills day spa. No official details are available to date, but wild speculation as to what happened; that never was reported, remains abundant.......

[trisherina]

Originally Posted by zenbabe

...reforms local fellatio laws, cures all cancers and finally settles that pesky Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

Anyone else but Smarty, and I'd have to say it couldn't happen.

Brynn is discovered by Joss Whedon drinking an egg cream at Schwab's Drug Store at the age of 68. Whedon, who has undergone an epiphanous religious conversion at the news that he has mesothelioma, casts her in a new project he's written involving an attractive grandmother who suddenly develops supernatural powers and wants to use them to save the world from Satanic forces. The cast meshes incredibly well together to create a series that fans love, but the network drops it mid-season for fear its religious overtones will result in a backlash. Whedon promises to revive the project somehow but dies before this can happen. The series is #1 in box sets on Amazon.com for 34 weeks running, and Brynn is hailed as "the next Jessica Tandy."

[Unsound]

Originally Posted by trisherina

Unsound decides he isn't that keen on art, takes the LSATS, does well, goes to law school at Simon Fraser, graduates, works for a firm doing construction law, makes partner in 13 years, buys a house in Shaugnessy with his wife, a physiotherapist he met after a skiing accident, she works very part-time after the two kids and never really goes back, they vacation mostly at their Salt Spring Island fixer-upper with a view of St. Mary's Lake: Unsound finally realizes his dream of turning it into a fishing B&B in 2035, and spends his last days showing people a really good time.

Awful.

[trisherina]

I never promised you a rose garden.

[Unsound]

But I wasn’t expecting a kick in the pants.