The BLF Game

[Brynn]

Perhaps you've heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. No?

The idea is to write with some talent - talent that has subtle shadows of genius even, but then somewhere along the way it goes terribly wrong until the stink of failure fills the room.

Early posts here betray a judging system, and someone can still arbitrarily decide to elect a winner if they feel like it, but appropriate pomposity and pretension is strongly encouraged.
Anyone interested can change the category suggestion for the next go-round. It is for inspiration purposes only, and not a requirement for posting if you are inspired without it, but do try it if you can.
The round will go until it can't go anymore. Then someone can change it.

The game is shamelessly stolen from this site:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
The rules are childishly simple:

* One sentence only. You may submit as many entries as you wish.
* Sentences may be of any length. Pithiness encouraged. Commenting in the one-sentence style of BLF is welcome as well.
* All literary categories allowed, from "general" to detective, western, science fiction, romance, travel and so on, including “It was a dark and stormy night….”

Some stunning examples from the official 2005 BLFC winners:
http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2005.htm

In honor of Bulwer-Lytton, in this first round, sentences must begin with
”It was a dark and stormy night…”

[trisherina]

It was a dark and stormy night when Randy proposed to Gloria, with comma clouds likely to give rise to the anvil heads of cumulonimbus under continued low pressure and a dropping barometer, and expected precipitation between 10 and 20 mm forecast over the next twenty-four hours.

[12"razormix]

it was a dark and stormy night and wilbur, in addition to suffering from low self esteem, a receding hairline and a little jiggely belly that had a habit of dancing slightly above his straining belt, having nothing better to do, stood amid the glow of his open fridge at exactly 3 minutes past midnight and contemplated its contents with a complacent grunt.

[LeahDear]

It was a dark and stormy night when Mable decided to change her usual routine and have egg & chips for her Tuesday's dinner instead of steak. She felt a shiver of excitement run down her spine at this flouting of her own rules, "Wow, I'm really getting the hang of this spontaneity lark," she thought to herself.

[dinzdale]

It was a dark and stormy night, but that did not stop Leah from entering extraneous punctuation, nor from submitting an entry of more than one sentence despite clearly written rules.

[12"razormix]

it was a dark and stormy night when sir arthur macdinzdale would compose and submit the one and only entry in his entire lifetime that completely omitted boobs, hooters, female genitalia and the nolan sisters altogether.

[LeahDear]

It was a dark and stormy night when Leah was informed by Dinz that not only had she added unnecessary punctuation to her first entry of the BLF game but that she'd also broken the rules; thus rendering her attempt null and void.

[villagecloud]

Satan ran amok that woebegone evening when, as the sun set blood-red behind a posh but isolated hotel full of slow-running tourists, Merideth discovered that Tabasco Sauce does not come from Tabasco, Mexico but from Avery Island, Lousiana.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

It had lain in its chamber, unmarked and undisturbed by the generations of men, by men who knew no doubt of their place on this Earth, men with lives more ephemeral than its dreams.

[Marcus Bales]

The prominent professor of comparative religion from Harvard, who held the Alice Littlejohn Hartschorn-McMillan Chair of Comparative Religion lay on his back in a pool of blood, breathing shallowly.

[trisherina]

She stood rooted to the spot, afraid to move while eyes peered out at her from the shadows, eyes that were not unlike the googly eyes on her favourite blue-and-yellow musicbox childhood pet named Froogle, but creepier.

(I am assuming xfox is judging??)

[Marcus Bales]

She whispered her answer hoping that the right person was listening.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

*ahem*

The first line of your Christmas Card poem or greeting, if you please.

[brightpearl]

It's another glorious Christmas at the (*name withheld*) household; as I handwrite this heartfelt Christmas letter in stunning calligraphic flourishes on handmade soy-based parchment, the homemade Bavarian scalded eggnog is steaming in my great-grandmother's Blue Willow cups, the dog is sitting attentively at my L.L. Bean shearling slippered feet, and the children are arranged like luminous Titian angels about the living room, playing quietly with their new wooden trains and sewing traditional French cross-stitch samplers in their smocked heirloom nightgowns and Tartan flannel pajamas.

[xfox]

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing, it makes no noise at all, but softly gives itself away, while quite unselfish, it grows small.