wish

[zero]

.

• grant the wish of the person above you but come up with some strange, ironic or daft way in which it all goes terribly wrong and backfires on them
  
• then make a wish of your own

i wish i still had my pet ant named rory

[craig johnston]

you can, but he'll invite all his friends round and they'll form a colony in your basement, eat away at the foundations and cause your house to collapse just at the moment that you have enticed all of the nolan sisters into your bedroom.
you will suffer injuries which i cannot describe on a clean family orientated website such as this.


i wish i had the noive

[trisherina]

You do, but you're also in the manic phase of bipolar disorder. You don't need sleep or food and you feel fantastic, like you're Superman and there's no such thing as kryptonite. While you've got the noive, you've also got credit cards, and you charge every one of them up to the max buying fabulous new clothes for the fabulous new you shortly before collapsing into a depressed phase that lays you flat and renders you unable to work -- or even get out of bed for six months.

I wish my dog had the lifespan of a human being.

[lapietra]

She does, but in that amount of time, she learns how to do things a normal dog wouldn't, like, for example, drive your car, raid the fridge and attempt her own grilled cheese sandwiches, borrow your credit card and order toys from Home Shopping Network, etc. Eventually she feels the need to have her independence and moves out into her own apartment. She will visit occasionally, but it won't really be the same kind of relationship. Sorry.

I wish I had enough money to pay off all my debts and buy a house and keep it nicely.

[ambo]

You win the lottery, pay everything off, and buy a lovely home in the Presidio. It becomes the showplace of the neighborhood, and is therefore the first house that the aliens decide to take over when they land on Fisherman's Wharf. They command you to stay and cook crab dishes for them night after night for the rest of your life.



I wish I was in a better financial position to go to Vegas in October to sing happy birthday to Roy and give Teller another beaded lizard.

[trisherina]

You win a supermarket scratch card contest, and Penn and Teller and Siegfried and Roy all come to your home for a private performance. In a spectacular mishap recorded and replayed on international television for eight straight days before the furor dies down, Teller and a white tiger almost drown in the swimming pool while Siegfried, Roy, and Penn Jillette are distracted filming a very special episode of Bullshit in your master bedroom.

I wish I had a time machine.

[jasmina]

hoka hoka hey! Your wish is granted. I have come up with the next wish.
BUT
But
BUT

the next wish is.... that I ASSUME YOUR IDENTITY

I AM trish.
I SWAY like trish.
Trish's size 0 figure is MINE. Even the skirt is mine. (and especially the legs)
People LOVE me, as if I were really Trish.


I take on your entire persona.
I subsequently TRASH your persona.
Your previously pristine reputation is now sullied, forever.

(PS I feel mean saying this.....)

My wish is...(do I also get another wish?) to re-live the love that I once had.
(um.... with a different person of course)

[jasmina]

p.p.s - I'm having the boots too.
But I could live without the - erm - rather severe haircut.

[catbelly]

Brrrrrriinnnnnnggggg!!! It's the phone and it's your old lover, wanting you back just like it was yesterday. Everything is wonderful, just like it was, including the way he never cleared his plates from the table and started snoring just as you were dropping off to sleep and farted just as you closed the car door and used the last bit of toilet paper and never replaced the roll and ate the last oreo and slept with your best friend and hogged the remote and picked his nose and hated your mom and let your roommate wear your shoes and got too drunk at your office party and didn't call to let you know he wasn't coming home and gave away your cat and invited his deadbeat brother to live with you and ... and ... and .... JUST LIKE OLD TIMES AIEEEeeeEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEE

I wish it were warmer here.

[auntie aubrey]

error. wish not specific enough. "here" now redefined as the face of the planet mercury. it is now blissfully warm enough to melt tin to its liquid state. also, you.


i wish someone would invent that nail polishing gadget from "total recall" where you touch the wand to your nail and it instantly changes color.

[12"razormix]

bling! isn't it great! unfortunately, you choose CLEAR nail polish (after that horrible coral you've been wearing for the last 2 weeks). while waiting at a traffic light you get bored, decide to touch up your nails and you drop the wand. your car is now invisible, the traffic light just changed to green and there's a 12-ton truck coming up behind you while you're bent down looking for the wand...


i wish i could do something and then lie about it.

[zero]

12♥zomrix absentmindedly takes a bag of rubbish from the kitchen and hangs it on a hook in the cupboard under the stairs. "excuse me mrs. mix, but did you hang this bag of rubbish in the cupboard under the stairs?" says the gas-meter man named peter who later the same day is in that cupboard under the stairs poking around with his torch for some reason. "no, i most certainly did not and if you must know i'm considering whether i should embark on a new research programme in the field of shampoo" is her reply. he smiles politely but is thinking that she is definitely a wee bit doolally.




i wish for some bright and shiny newbies