Fat vs. Thin

[katester]

i feel pretty strongly about this subject, but i come from a completely different side than most.
my whole family is thin, lightweight, whatever you want to call it. so i was always a small child. as i was growing up, i developed some gastric problems where i couldn't eat without much pain and nausea, probably around 10 or 12. by the time i hit 8th grade, i was 12 and weighed 68 pounds, anorexic, but not by choice. i HATED being that thin- i was the constant butt of jokes, my self esteem suffered, etc. i underwent surgery, almost died (49 pounds...) and went through long rehab with a nose tube and a 4000 calorie diet.
now i'm still skinny, what you might see in magazines, but i dislike it. i actually think women with curves are much more attractive. i really dislike the girls in my classes complimenting me, telling me i'm skinny, i immediately get defensive, etc. obviously there are some lingering issues from all that, but my point is that its disgusting to see these beautiful healthy girls try and lose weight to look like the magazines tell them. its ridiculous. and i try to tell them how i feel, what I SEE when i look at them, and they don't believe me, or that i'm just being nice. some can't possibly believe that they are beautiful the way they are. it drives me insane. i refuse to model (easy money yes) on this premise alone.