Goofy pre-Turkey Day humor - ZEFRANK.COM

LadyCrow · 11-26-2003, 07:53 PM

Don't say I didn't warn you...

> Things you can only say at Thanksgiving and get away with:
>
> 01. Talk about a huge breast!
> 02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
> 03. It's Cool Whip time!
> 04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
> 05. Whew, that's a terrific spread!
> 06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
> 07. Are you ready for seconds yet?
> 08. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
> 09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
> 10. Don't play with your meat.
> 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
> 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
> 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
> 14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
> 15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
> 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
> 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
> 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
> 19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

Pax,
LC

dinzdale · 11-26-2003, 08:00 PM

I was drinving on I45 the other day and cruising about 75 mph when all of a sudden a 6 legged turkey overtook me. I sppeded up to check it out, and it definately had 6 legs. I was doing 80 and it sprinted on ahead again. I speeded up to 90 and followed it.It took the next exit, and I struugled to keep it in sight, but at last it ducked into a farmyard.
I pulled in and there was the farmer.
I asked him about the 6 legged turkey and he answered that his brother bred it especially for him, as every thanksgiving the farmer, his wife and 4 kids all sat down to dinner, but they always had a huge argument about getting a turkey leg.
"Oh fascinating" I said "so this solved your problem...what do these 6 legged turkies taste like?"
"I dont know" replied the farmer "I drive a Chevvy, so I havnt caught one yet".....

funkytuba · 11-27-2003, 06:42 AM

What does a turkey like to eat on Thanksgiving?

Nothing; they are already stuffed!

This joke and far too many others are at this site, which I found off of google.

zenbabe · 11-27-2003, 03:25 PM

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York a couple of days before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your Sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at her father, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow.
Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Gatsby · 11-14-2004, 10:31 PM

*bump*

11-26-2003, 07:53 PM	#1
LadyCrow WhY sO SiRiUs? Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ta uoy erehw Posts: 1,120	Goofy pre-Turkey Day humor Don't say I didn't warn you... > Things you can only say at Thanksgiving and get away with: > > 01. Talk about a huge breast! > 02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. > 03. It's Cool Whip time! > 04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! > 05. Whew, that's a terrific spread! > 06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. > 07. Are you ready for seconds yet? > 08. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? > 09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! > 10. Don't play with your meat. > 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. > 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? > 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! > 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. > 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? > 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. > 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! > 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen! > 19. How long do I beat it before it's ready? Pax, LC __________________ "If there is a bedrock principle of the First Amendment, it is that the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable." -- Justice William J. Brennan (1906-1997) U. S. Supreme Court Justice Source: Texas vs. Johnson, 1989 ************ Illegitimi non carborundum... ************ Whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger. - Heath Ledger

11-27-2003, 03:25 PM	#4
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York a couple of days before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your Sister in Chicago and tell her." Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at her father, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way." __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

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11-26-2003, 08:00 PM	#2
dinzdale King of the špatnýs Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: was that dog Posts: 9,411	I was drinving on I45 the other day and cruising about 75 mph when all of a sudden a 6 legged turkey overtook me. I sppeded up to check it out, and it definately had 6 legs. I was doing 80 and it sprinted on ahead again. I speeded up to 90 and followed it.It took the next exit, and I struugled to keep it in sight, but at last it ducked into a farmyard. I pulled in and there was the farmer. I asked him about the 6 legged turkey and he answered that his brother bred it especially for him, as every thanksgiving the farmer, his wife and 4 kids all sat down to dinner, but they always had a huge argument about getting a turkey leg. "Oh fascinating" I said "so this solved your problem...what do these 6 legged turkies taste like?" "I dont know" replied the farmer "I drive a Chevvy, so I havnt caught one yet".....

11-27-2003, 06:42 AM	#3
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	What does a turkey like to eat on Thanksgiving? Nothing; they are already stuffed! This joke and far too many others are at this site, which I found off of google.

11-14-2004, 10:31 PM	#5
Gatsby I used to be a girl Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,152	bump