Fun Alphabet Story

[Kerin]

Angry and articulate," Sally said after the incident,
"Brazen and shrill", said Bob, unenlightenedly
"Crass and outspoken", ventured Gerald, not really understanding but desperately wanting to agree.
"Don't misjudge her just because she came in naked, with a 9" cigarette holder, playing the violin!"
"Everyone gets a little nuts sometimes," said Vivianne.
"For heaven's sake, Viv, keep quiet - here she comes!" Bob interjected.
"Got a light, anyone?" purred Ella, bringing her 9" cigarette holder to her lips with the air of absolute expectation that someone would light it.
"Hell yeah!" said Gerald, who had had a secret cigarette fetish ever since Monica.
"I've always held a flame for you Ella!" Gerald added eagerly, to general embarassment.
"J'surprise," murmured Ella, steadying Gerald's lighter hand so it wouldn't tremble at her touch.
"Kids," warned Sally, watching the men stand up a little straighter.
"Lucky I didn't make a fool of myself there." thought Gerald, still visibly shaking.
"Mon dieu," muttered Ella, taking the lighter out of Gerald's trembling hand.
"Naked, Ella! YOUR'E COMPLETELY TOTALLY NAKED!" exclaimed Sally, her exasperation with Ella finally reaching boiling point.
"Oh?" said Ella, rolling her eyes so hard her contacts popped out.
"Pretend she's dressed," advised Vivianne, and everyone glared at her.
"Quite big tits", said Gerald, suddenly looking very horny.
"Really, Gerald, keep it in your pants," Sally chided.
"She's an attention whore. Just say 'no'" said Vivianne, still determined to imagine Ella fully dressed.
"Take your jealousy elsewhere," growled Ella, starting to lose her temper.
"Understand this," began Vivianne. "I would rather be dead than be you."
"Vivianne... now that is something I can help you with!" sneered Ella, pulling a gun from we know not where.
"Wow" exclaimed Gerald, "Who would have guessed that would fit in there?"
XXXXX - photo of gun location - XXXXX
"You're all dead!" Ella shouted, brandishing the gun.
"Zinfandel anyone?" offered Gerald in a desperate attempt to defer the inevitable.
"Australian Zinfandel?" asked Ella, peering myopically at the bottle, gun forgotten in the heat of the moment.
"By jingo! It is! oh... actually... it's Austrian Zinfandel" confessed Gerald, deflated once more.
"Come now," scoffed Ella, "You've got to be joking."
"Don't be a silly, Ella," interpolated Sally, "Joe King moved to Arizona to sell air conditioning units 20 years ago!"
"Even I wouldn't have made that pun", Gerald boasted, feeling rather superior.
"Fainting..." Vivianne had time to say before she fell face-first to the floor.
"Give her air!" demanded Bob, shoving the others aside, "Now stand back while I loosen her clothes!"
"Holy Crap" said Gerald, "is that what I think it is?!"
"I've never seen one quite like that before." stated Sally, somewhat wistfully
"Jumping willikers close your eyes you perves!" Vivianne managed to rage before blacking out again.

[karma_queen]

j'surprise? eh?