make up a story everyone

[Madmack]

On her 17th birthday Marla's life began to change. She thought it may have something to do with the baseball sized growth she found on the side of her head. She cut it open with a melon knife, and 284 cherries poured out. Not that that was really out of the ordinary as the previous week it had been peas. She opened the cupboard with the bright yellow doors to look for her mother's cherry pie recipe. And that's when she saw the creature for the first time.

It was small, soft-looking, and the color of fresh green leaves, and when it noticed her looking at it, it said, "GLEEP." It seemed hungry, and immediately started picking at the cherries, discarding the meat and eating the pits. Marla took a few steps back and reached up to touch her head, where there should have been a gaping wound -- and only soft black hair met her questing fingers.

The creature eyed her curiously, then reached into a small pouch near it's abdomen and produced a golden nugget the size of a kumquat.This was no ordinary gold nugget. Marla eyed the nugget warily as it started to change colour and shape, "Curiouser and curiouser," she thought to herself.

After 5 minutes or so, the nugget turned into David Blaine, who she unceremoniously kicked to the curb for being a pitiful waste of time. He stood up, dusted himself off, and was immediately pulverised by a speeding Dominoes Pizza delivery truck driven by Macaulay Culkin and Danny Bonaduce, who were on their way to the open field on the other side of the tracks near the creek. The reason they were traveling at such a Blaine-flattening speed was right behind them, and gaining fast.

Now many think it is just a fascinating urban legend that the Partridge Family bus drives itself up and down this particular stretch of road with frightening regularity, but the locals (many of whom tell the story before and after being properly liquored up) have seen it with their own beady little bloodshot eyes. '...I think I love you...' wafted across the meadow and much to Marla's surprise the voice seemingly crooning to her wasn't David Cassidy.. but his brother Shaun.