letter

[Ze Frank]

Dear Brad,

You incredible bastard! What the Fuc* did you think you were doing?
At first it seemed like good idea to dry my hair in the microwave, but what gives you the right to put a turtle in my pants? I admit, it wasn't nice of me when I poured hot acid on your face, but in hindsight you look more and more like a Michael Jackson look-alike. Where do you get off the metro after work? I want to take a fresh rotisserie chicken and throw it at your nose, but I'm afraid. So very afraid. I can't afford a new couch. It's not like the old days. Am i making sense to you, Brad? Brad? BRAD! Answer me dammit! Oh God, this paper just looks so much like your face now after that horrible acid accident that I completely forgot that I was writing a letter! I might just be going insane. I could really use