letter

[Ze Frank]

Dear Valued Oregon Public Broadcasting Member:

As you know, due to federal funding cuts, your generous financial support as a contributor is more important than ever. With your help and participation in our attached survey, we can make this station a shining example in the Pacific Northwest of what all public radio stations could be. It's going to take not only some deep sacrifices, but a few radical changes in the schedule as well.
Unfortunately, as you know, there has been talk of cancelling "Eclecticity," the program that brings current, diverse music from the artistically provocative local scene of Portland musicians. Because listenership has been steadily declining, we have decided to partner with a cable tv station with the capability of simulcasting our new Thursday night program, Nude Dude in the Mood. Hopefully, this daring new venture will brighten your day and provide you with that little pick-me-up we all could use. Regrettably, we will have to cut back on “All Things Considered," as well. As you know this is a very expensive program and we have received several complaints that it “leans too far to the left.” At this time we have decided to hook up with local Foxnews affiliate channel 12 in Portland. Since the ban on hugging in the state, Oregonians have become more and more recluse, seeking programming that is, shall we say, less cerebral and more mind numbing. In addition to changes in programming, we are sponsoring a "Kiss-In" next Friday night outside the Portland Arena to protest the ban on hugging. So bring your