wish

[Coffee]

Shazzamolini!

You are tranported back in time to Renaissance Italy, where you are the lowest and newest apprentice to the meanest Journeyman of the Master of Voice in the Florentine court of Count Medici. You have been assigned to sing the note Asharp in various octaves for 10 consecutive hours today, continuing your month's assignment to perfect Asharp...Other than your hourly 5 minute break, should you waver or pause for more than the time required to refill your lungs you will be lashed, beaten, mentally harranged, or more likely all of the above, by the vindictive Journeyman in charge of your basic note practice...but then who can blame him given that it is his task to Listen to you shriek Asharp for a solid freaking month as part of his ear training...and beating you is his only relief from the painful tedium.

p.s. You have also been turned into a young boy and you were castrated last week.


I wish I had 3 more wishes.

[lapietra]

I have come back THREE TIMES to view this and you've changed it each time. Shriek, my arse.

[•••]

Bleeble!

Your three wishes become granted, over time, only to go horribly awry in ways you hadn't anticipated when you made those wishes. Eventually, you find yourself wishing you had never made any wishes to begin with. That goes wrong, too.

I wish I could leave.

[trisherina]

Walla Walla Washington! You make good your escape, by assuming a new identity... mine. You begin your odyssey by judging this round of the BLF game.

I wish someone else would come up with the next wish.

[jasmina]

hoka hoka hey! Your wish is granted. I have come up with the next wish.
BUT
But
BUT

the next wish is.... that I ASSUME YOUR IDENTITY

I AM trish.
I SWAY like trish.
Trish's size 0 figure is MINE. Even the skirt is mine. (and especially the legs)
People LOVE me, as if I were really Trish.


I take on your entire persona.
I subsequently TRASH your persona.
Your previously pristine reputation is now sullied, forever.

(PS I feel mean saying this.....)

My wish is...(do I also get another wish?) to re-live the love that I once had.
(um.... with a different person of course)

[jasmina]

p.p.s - I'm having the boots too.
But I could live without the - erm - rather severe haircut.

[catbelly]

Brrrrrriinnnnnnggggg!!! It's the phone and it's your old lover, wanting you back just like it was yesterday. Everything is wonderful, just like it was, including the way he never cleared his plates from the table and started snoring just as you were dropping off to sleep and farted just as you closed the car door and used the last bit of toilet paper and never replaced the roll and ate the last oreo and slept with your best friend and hogged the remote and picked his nose and hated your mom and let your roommate wear your shoes and got too drunk at your office party and didn't call to let you know he wasn't coming home and gave away your cat and invited his deadbeat brother to live with you and ... and ... and .... JUST LIKE OLD TIMES AIEEEeeeEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEE

I wish it were warmer here.

[auntie aubrey]

error. wish not specific enough. "here" now redefined as the face of the planet mercury. it is now blissfully warm enough to melt tin to its liquid state. also, you.


i wish someone would invent that nail polishing gadget from "total recall" where you touch the wand to your nail and it instantly changes color.

[12"razormix]

bling! isn't it great! unfortunately, you choose CLEAR nail polish (after that horrible coral you've been wearing for the last 2 weeks). while waiting at a traffic light you get bored, decide to touch up your nails and you drop the wand. your car is now invisible, the traffic light just changed to green and there's a 12-ton truck coming up behind you while you're bent down looking for the wand...


i wish i could do something and then lie about it.

[zero]

12♥zomrix absentmindedly takes a bag of rubbish from the kitchen and hangs it on a hook in the cupboard under the stairs. "excuse me mrs. mix, but did you hang this bag of rubbish in the cupboard under the stairs?" says the gas-meter man named peter who later the same day is in that cupboard under the stairs poking around with his torch for some reason. "no, i most certainly did not and if you must know i'm considering whether i should embark on a new research programme in the field of shampoo" is her reply. he smiles politely but is thinking that she is definitely a wee bit doolally.




i wish for some bright and shiny newbies

[trisherina]

Teh board is flooded with duckies, speedracers, and those who think so you don't have to. After a measured half-hour of tolerance, a vicious flame war erupts wherein members of the self-titled "old cadre" (aka the OC) taunt and insult the n00bs cruelly, amid asides glorifying the old days of the vaunted Fiction Project, when limericks roamed the Earth and resembled the demographic. The war grows so heated and repugnant to the public eye that the Pope sends an email to Ze thanking him for "taking the focus off that Muslim thing for me."

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

[auntie aubrey]

*bing* welcome home:



i hope you like gas stations.




i wish my gum didn't lose its flavor after 10 minutes.

[Frieda]

*schluuuurp*

your gum keeps its flavor and you keep chewing and chewing and CHEWING and chewing until your jaw locks up and your mouth doesnt open anymore. you eat bananas for 5 weeks while waiting for an appointment at the craniomandibular doctor guy.



i wish i made more money.

[catbelly]

Frieda makes so much money that she trips over it in the middle of the night when she gets up to pee! She makes so much that she considers using it to mulch her garden! She makes so much that she uses it as notepaper for grocery lists! She makes so much that she forgets how much she has. She makes it in various currencies and sometimes she makes it with celebrities on it instead of the usual historical figures, just to mix it up a bit. She makes so much that she eventually gets caught and spends many many years in a medium security prison with a roommate who snores and has funky B.O.

I wish that someone would come over and make dinner for me.

[12"razormix]

you get your wish, catbelly! unfortunately, it's zero trying out his new haggis recipe at your house....


i wish i could spend the next 10 months on vacation.