500 Random Spells for the Dying Earth

[ambo]

This page amused me:
http://www.ruf.rice.edu/~pound/dyingearth.html

I thought it might be fun if we picked one of these spells (or made up our own) and explained the effect.

I'll start.

Vradco's trim thunderclap:
Upon casting, this spell produces a clap of thunder exactly one second long. Just enough to scare the bejeebers out of that annoying neighbor yelling at his dog or the person at your door trying to sell you pest control after ringing the bell directly under the "No Soliciting" sign.