"Makes Sense To Me" News Story Of The Day

[craig johnston]

shame.
what about garrison keillor? is he president of
minnesota yet?

[daverbee]

We should name Garrison Keillor Emperor.

***************

Edited to add maybe not emperor but president for life at least.

[zenbabe]

Accused Man Used Samurai Sword

POSTED: 9:05 am PST February 15, 2007
UPDATED: 9:50 am PST February 15, 2007


PASADENA, Calif. -- It was self-defense.That's what the lawyer for a Pasadena firefighter accused of hacking his wife to death with a samurai sword in their Rancho Cucamonga home said he'll claim at the man's trial.Lawyer Winston McKesson outlined his defense after a judge ruled Wednesday that prosecutors have enough evidence to try Michael Burton on charges he murdered his 35-year-old wife, Otilia, in July.

McKesson said Burton did not want to harm his wife, but was forced to repeatedly stab her to stave off her attack.But prosecutors said there's no evidence of self-defense. They said details from the scene suggest the 45-year-old ambushed his wife as she walked through the door to her home.Burton is scheduled to be arraigned on February 27th.

[zenbabe]

Nathaniel Abraham was convicted of murder in 1998 and incarcerated, but only until he turned 21, which was in January, at which time he was moved into a rent-free apartment in Bay City, Mich., and enrolled tuition-free in Delta College, in a program sponsored by Michigan Rehabilitation Services. Though some criticized such lavish treatment of a murderer, Abraham seemed ready to start his new life, arriving in Oakland Circuit Court for his formal release wearing "a black fur coat, ivory fedora hat, and a ivory and hot-pink pinstriped suit with matching pink tie and shoes," according to a Detroit News reporter. [Detroit News, 1-19-07]

[Brynn]

hoo boy.

[trisherina]

“Park didn’t pick a housewife or a 17-year-old girl,” Kamiabipour said in her closing argument. “He picked a stripper. He picked the perfect victim.”

Lucy vs. the bad lieutenant

[madasacutsnake]

Captain Cream.

[WizardsKeep]

The guy had it comin'. Seriously.

Oh well. This just goes to show you that you can't win an argument.

[zenbabe]

fvcking cops

[Jack Flanders]

How about Newt Greenwitch doing the nasty with another woman while still married to his second wife as he is trying to take Bill Clinton DOWN for playing around with Monica. And Newt says he's not a hypocrite. LUV IT!!!

[zenbabe]

BILLINGS, Mont. Mar 14, 2007 (AP)— A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said.

Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.

A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.

Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago.

[Coffee]

^^^...that does sound like how a unicorn would drive!

[l'azizza]

BILLINGS, Mont. - It turns out there are no such things as unicorns — not even in a drunken driving case here.
On Tuesday, a Billings prosecutor told a district judge that Phillip C. Holliday Jr., 42, claimed a unicorn was driving when his truck crashed into a light pole earlier this month.
On Wednesday, the chief prosecutor said it was all a misunderstanding.
County Attorney Dennis Paxinos said deputy prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist misunderstood an e-mail from a colleague who used the phrase "unicorn defense," thinking it was an actual statement from Holliday. "Unicorn defense" is a slang term used by prosecutors when a defendant blames some mythical person for a crime, he said.

"It's kind of a code (between prosecutors) and the code was misinterpreted," Paxinos said.

That’s no unicorn — that’s, uhhhh, what’s-her-name
He said Holliday never told police a unicorn was driving the truck. Rather, he told them an unnamed woman was driving when his truck hit the light pole.
"Mr. Holliday has other serious problems, but this is not one of them," Paxinos said of the unicorn alibi.
Paxinos apologized "to the public, the court and to Mr. Holliday" for the confusion and said he has chastised the prosecutors involved.
"It's a great story, it just isn't correct," he said.

You want magic? The truck turned into a gas station
Holliday pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.
His pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.
Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer’s arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Silly Billy marries goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to "marry" a goat after its owner busted him having a midnight sex session with the animal, media reports say.

The goat's new "groom", a Mr Tombe, was ordered to pay a dowry of 15,000 ($62) Sudanese dinars to its owner, Mr Alifi, by a council of elders, the BBC said.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi reportedly told the Juba Post newspaper.

Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the newspaper he rumbled Mr Tombe after hearing a loud noise about midnight on February 13.

He hurried outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.

"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up," he said.

The council elders was called in to rule on the case, Mr Alifi said.

"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," he said.

[zenbabe]

The local government's tourist information center in Swindon, England, told author Mark Sutton that his World War I-themed book, "Tell Them of Us," could not be sold in its bookstore unless Sutton demonstrated that he had liability insurance, not for potentially libelous passages but in case readers, for example, suffered paper cuts turning the pages. Said Swindon Borough Council spokesman Richard Freeman, "We have to cover every eventuality." [Evening Standard (London), 2-24-07]