09-11-2003, 02:58 AM
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#1 |
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Posts: n/a
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Anyone know some good jokes?
Okay, doubtless this must have been done here before. I’m just feeling too lazy to look for the thread. Also, I know jokes are ubiquitous on the internet. But, hell, maybe there’s a reason for that. I want to laugh, dammit. Lemme hear your Jokes.
Pirate Translation: Arr! Them jokes be everywhar! Ay. Make me laugh, ye lubbers! Here’s a silly sorta lame one I made up. It’s a variation on the Chicken Crosses the Road joke (btw, When I was driving recently in the cone-tray, I saw some chickens by the side of the road, and they seemed to want to cross!) Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, have you ever seen a road cross a chicken? |
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09-11-2003, 08:14 AM
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#3 |
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a peach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 4,627
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How do you titilate an 'orse-a-lot?
Oscillate its tits-a-lot. LOL |
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09-11-2003, 09:03 AM
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#4 |
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Blue's Clues
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh?
Posts: 5,412
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So, there's this
drunk guy at the grocery store, and he's standing in line, and he watches the lady in front of him in line put a loaf of bread, a package of ham, 2 cans of soup and a quart of lowfat milk on the conveyor belt. He catches her eye, and says, "You're single, arent you?" She's astonished and says "How'd you know that I'm single, just from seeing what I'm buying?" He said "it's because you're fvckin' ugly!" _____________ timing is everything |
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09-11-2003, 09:06 AM
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#5 |
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baaaaah?
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: No(r)way
Posts: 4,733
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awwww. that was nasty! joj
__________________
RuneT RuneT, respect!! |
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09-11-2003, 12:06 PM
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#6 |
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feline, naturally
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4,407
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a horse goes into a bar
the bartender says "why the long face?"
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Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages. --Thomas A. Edison |
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09-11-2003, 12:55 PM
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#7 |
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Blue's Clues
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh?
Posts: 5,412
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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." |
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09-11-2003, 01:19 PM
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#8 |
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girthy pickles
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: under your desk
Posts: 9,313
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Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
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"We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people" |
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09-11-2003, 01:22 PM
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#9 |
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girthy pickles
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: under your desk
Posts: 9,313
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How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out! How many New Yorkers does it take to change a lightbulb? None of your f*ckin business! How many people does it take to change a lightbulb @ Lambeau Field? Three. One to change it & two to talk about how good the old one was.
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"We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people" |
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09-11-2003, 02:06 PM
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#10 | |
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Posts: n/a
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Quote:
They reach into their wallets and ask what they owe, when the bartender says: For you? No charge. *groan* Did you hear that Ford recently began recalling the entire inventory of their new 2003 Mercuries? Apparently, they found traces of tuna in them. So a chicken and an egg are lying side by side in a straw bed. The chicken’s smoking a cigarette. The egg has an unhappy look on its face. The chicken turns to the egg and says: “well, I guess that answers that question.” |
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09-11-2003, 02:13 PM
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#11 |
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Posts: n/a
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Re: PFP’s lightbulb jokes
Here’s another one-
How many zen buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two: one to change it and one to not change it. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But it has to really want to change.  |
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09-11-2003, 02:40 PM
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#12 |
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girthy pickles
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: under your desk
Posts: 9,313
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How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.
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"We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people" |
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09-11-2003, 02:54 PM
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#13 |
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over the rainbow!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Warsaw, Poland
Posts: 620
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a rabbi, a priest and a horse go into a bar
the bartender says "is it a joke?" |
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09-11-2003, 02:59 PM
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#14 |
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girthy pickles
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: under your desk
Posts: 9,313
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Did you hear about Starbucks new drink, Viagraccino?
It keeps you up all night.
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"We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people" |
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09-11-2003, 03:02 PM
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#15 | |
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Professional ZeMonkey
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Back in Oxford
Posts: 1,841
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Quote:
That's apparently George Bush Snr.'s favourite joke.
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"Why do I keep falling in love with every woman who shows me the slightest attention?" Joel, ESSM |
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