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#23 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: On my couch, looking in the cushions for my self respect and loose change.
Posts: 3
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Are you sure this thing is the real deal?" said A.
"Well my sources are authentic, if nothing else I'm sure of that," replied K. "I guess it seems solid enough; but it is kind of hollow, don't you think?" said A. "Hollow?" replied K. "Yeah, I mean look under here. Now tell me what keeps it from collapsing?" said A. "Look, My job was to get it here, alright? I don't know anything about 'hollow.' Now, did you bring what you were supposed to bring?" , said K. "Christ, relax!" said A. "Relax? You're the one who had such a big ****ing bug up your ass about me getting it here on time - if you want me to stay and help you deal with this, can the attitude, man!", said K. "Alright, Alright.......look just help me lift this end. " , said A. "Wait, wait, wait. First slide it to the edge, then we can both get our hands in the slots... see? It's got hand holds. Remember lift wit' yer legs." said K. "Yeah, thanks for that, Doctor Bones." "I've done this before, remember?" A replied. "Where are we taking it anyway?" asked K. "Just over there, on the loading dock, out of this rain before the finish gets ruined" A answered. "It's a bit late for that. My side's starting to bend." , said K. "Oh crap!" said A. "hahah just kidding" replied K "You're a sick twist, you know that? Ready? 1.2.3. Go!" "AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH !!!!!!" "What!? What?! What happened?" "J-j-just k-k-kidding," K laughed. "Oh very funny. Ha Ha. Now look what you've gone and done. This mirror's bent and one of the discs has fallen off" said A angrily. "Whatta you care, the optics are fine, the electronics are all inside, everything is copastetic." ventured K. "Copastetic- what the hell does that word mean, anyway? That word reminds me of that old hag of a nurse at boarding school. What was her name? Nurse Beaseley, Nurse Botchilism..." asked A. "Very interesting, but it isnt getting this piece of crap shifted and I do have to get on the road before midnight" said K. "C'mon, you remember! Nurse Bonventura... Nurse Bonnevilla?... The one Beetle was always moonin' over. 'Everthing is copastetic!' I know you remember her name, sick as you were our senior year." said A. "Whatever... I'm not the one who slept with her, after all. Listen. This little job... it's not my usual thing, you know? I know I'm giving you the gears, but it's because I'm not used getting tangled up with all this underground stuff. I need to get this done and get out of here. I'm getting the heebie jeebies." K said. "Heebie Jeebies?!? Man, what is with you tonight? Did you just drop out of the 50s or something? Next, you'll be saying something is the "cat's pajamas". Listen, relax. It'll be hours 'til they come back. Where are the supports, anyway?" said A. "Would that be a good idea?" asked K "Hunhh? Oh. Here they are. Good idea to stick 'em inside the cabinet. How do they go on like this?" asked A." "They just slide in, like so. simple. then tighten the wingnuts" replied K. "We didnt really need the wheels on this end" mused A. "hehehe, could you flick that black swtich just above your thumb? I wanna see what this baby can do when its fired up!" replied K "alright," said A., "HOLY MONKEY, THAT BITCH IS LOUD!" "WATCH YOUR HAND, A!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE PUTTING - WATCH - - - JESUS CHRIST!!" shouted K. "AAAARrrGHHH, F**K! F**K! F**K! my fingers!!! FOR GOD SAKE TURN THE DAMN THING OFF AND HELP ME!!!!" screamed A. "AAAAAAAAAAH," screamed K in unison with A, "Ok, Ok, it's off, it's off! Good God, look at all that blood!" "I didn't know, I didn't know that's what would happen when we switched it on. What the hell were they thinking making something like this?!" said A "Christ Jesus, here, let me see...oh jesus, no keep holding it. That's a bad gash. Squeeze it closed. Okay. We're about three miles from St. Elegius," said K. "St. Elegius?? That crazy monk wannabe doctor?! No ****ing way, K.! You gotta get me to a real hospital! Look at my fingers!" ?! screamed A. "Yeah," said K. "That's going to put a serious crimp on your sex life." "ah, f*** off!" retorted K. "Yeah, I guess any attempt to lighten the mood might be seen as... tell you what, get in the passenger seat. We can be atthe emergency room in 4 or 5 minutes. Here, the keys are in my pocket. To the Bronco." said A "Are you INSANE??!? you know the dead body is in the bronco! maybe we can take this piece of sh!t, help me get into the seat and you drive!" said K urgently. "HELLO! I'm the one bleedin' here! Get the door, get the door, Christ, I'm gettin' blood all over everything... This is effin great, We're gonna leave the Bronco in this neighborhood with Vinnie under a tarp in the back?" moaned A. "Yeah. It'll protect him against the fluorescent lites" answered K "I'm startin' to not feel so good..." said A. "Pull it together man! i got your fingers and put them on ice from the minicooler in the bronco, now here i'll give you a leg up onto this thing and we'll be at the hospital in no time at all" said K. "God! They're swollen up like kelbasa," screeched A. "You sure those are mine and not some crap you found in the gutter?" "Well it could be worse," smirked K. "This could be a Bobbit situation." "Okay, I'm in. I'm in! Goddammit! I can get the door... go get in and start her up! I'm really startin' to not feel so good at all." "Ahh ****..." K groaned "How many fingers didja loose exactly, again? 'Cause I got three here." |
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