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Old 05-04-2006, 01:22 AM   #16
Hyakujo's Fox
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madasacutsnake
trisherina means “yiros” when she says donair
(and snake means "souvlaki" when she says yiro)
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Old 05-04-2006, 02:22 AM   #17
priceyfatprude
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Did Crowne Plaza LAX charge your credit card twice like Crowne Plaza Anaheim did to mine?
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Old 05-04-2006, 02:50 AM   #18
madasacutsnake
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Nah. I was pretty pissed off with the experience anyway. QM is now my LAX hotel of choice.
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Old 05-04-2006, 11:40 PM   #19
madasacutsnake
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Day Six

Despite having noted that “midnight sun” is somewhat of a misnomer I managed to awake at something approaching a reasonable hour. This was important as I needed to iron my “resort casual” linen blouse for dinner that night at the Jasper Park Lodge Moose Room whose dress code was thus described. It conjured up pics of people with their collars turned firmly up. I draw the line at that and chose a liberal interpretation of "resort casual” whatever tf that was. After more coffee and English muffins it was time to kiss the Wonder Dog goodbye and organise trisherina’s CD changer.

Another gorgeous day. Did I mention that Alberta around Edmonton is flat? As in Little House on the Prairie flat? (This is THE prairie, trisherina informed me). Well anyway it means you can see a long way and especially you can see RED BARNS. Trisherina got tired of them after the first five or so but the novelty was far from worn off for me. My red barn spotting was interrupted by some bloke who was towing a couple of quad bikes. As we passed I said “Nice lawnmowers!” and pointed to the trailer. The bloke looked peeved and Trisherina’s foot went down a bit I think probably to avoid them catching us at the next truck stop. (What she didn’t know is that the last time I did that it was to some Asian fellow with a home-made papier mache (!!) spoiler. I rolled my window down at the traffic lights and pointed and said “excuse me but there’s something stuck to the back of your car”. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t speak English, instead he smiled and nodded gratefully – then pulled over after the traffic lights to inspect the problem. “You’re a b*tch, Snake!” said my friend who was driving. Apparently Canadians are less gullible.)

We passed through a couple of dead end towns, both of us amused to see “colour TV” advertised at a seedy motel. We wondered what would happen if we asked for black and white TV.

We made the truck stop sans lawnmower man and peed with great relief and scouted the aisles for supplies. I ended up with a bag of mixed stuff; pretzels and chips. This doesn’t exist here and I’m telling you, for the Queen of Indecision it was a boon…when dining out I always order antipasto. And then the ceiling opened up and a ray of light beamed down upon a box full of industrial strength earplugs. I drive all over Adelaide looking for a single pair of these earplugs and here was the reason why – the mother lode was at a truck stop in outback Alberta. I scooped up a couple of handfuls babbling incoherently about industrial mother lodes. Trailing pretzels, jerky and ear plugs we made it back to the car to observe the owners’ rat dog peeing up another customer's tyres. We decided to high tail it to Jasper before we too were sprayed with rat pee.

Eventually the flat stopped and the Rockies appeared on the horizon. And then the park gates hove into view. One visitor’s pass issued from a fake log cabin later and we were in heaven. The road runs along a wide and flat river valley with, well, rocky mountains on either side. Their peaks were obstructed by low cloud but it’s not like I cared. I was totally drawn in by the aqua river and fir trees and roadside lakes.

I’d been told all about the bighorn which are in fact sheep despite looking just like goats and one obligingly appeared by the side of the road. We stopped for the obligatory pics and considered its mangy coat – its fleece was half off and we decided that they either moult or that it had sheep disease. The result of stopping for bighorn (I love saying that) was that we missed the turnoff for the Jasper Park Lodge and went into Jasper itself. A quick tour of Jasper’s two streets revealed no Jasper Park Lodge but the tourist map did – back the way we came. We eventually found the entrance opposite the cunningly placed bighorn which was obviously there to throw less classy people off the Jasper Park Lodge scent. It’s an exclusive joint after all. We however were not to be deterred and drove right on through the log archway into the resort which turns out to be a collection of log cabins arranged around a lake. Did I mention impossibly cute log cabins around another of those aqua clear lakes surrounded by fir trees and magnificent snow capped mountains? Reception was in the original lodge which dates from c 1930’s – lots of exposed stone and glass and logs (more logs!). I wandered a bit while Trisherina did the checking in and pronounced to myself that it was lovely.

Now this resort is so large that they hand you your room keys in one hand and a boy on a bike in the other. The idea is that you follow your boy on the bike to your cabin in order to avoid certain death by elk (there were signs warning of cranky elks in breeding season) or some other form of delightful demise that the Canadian countryside can dream up. Boy on bike (presumably prepared to defend us and the 4WD to the death from elk attack) delivered us safely to our lakefront log cabin. Whence Trisherina and I promptly availed ourselves of the beds it having been a four hour drive and all. We discussed stocking the mini bar as the elk-defender had suggested but decided this may have been a dodgy proposition dollar wise and availed ourselves of the room’s amenities instead. Which consisted of a cardboard holder for the TV remote marked “for your convenience”. Trisherina had brought her laptop and enthusiastically started to plug cables in. The first bad omen was that the end of her cable did not match the hole in the wall. Call to Rat Man was placed and some changing of cables ensued. Still cable and hole did not match. Trisherina was sure that she had seen “internet access” advertised and rang Reception. Who explained that it was only available in the “suites”. Trisherina said she thought she had booked a “suite”. Reception said that the manager would call back. By the time the phone rang trisherina was in stalking mode. It was suggested that I answer the phone. Quite luckily for the “manager” I took up the suggestion and saved her from a Quite Bad Day at Work. End result was that we were welcome to book a slot on the computer in the communal area.

So we did what girls do best when they are let down (and still waiting for the magical arrival of Zaftig who was driving in from Grande Prairie) and made ourselves up beautifully and dressed resort casual in preparation for the Moose Room. We had almost given up Zaftig for lost and were considering a note on the door – “we’re in the bar” – when…….Zaftig appeared at the window!

“OMG her hair is so cool!” I said.
“I hope she’s short” said Trisherina in reference to the couch which was made up as her bed.
“She’s short! She’s short! Hurray!” I said. Poor Zaftig. Drove for four hours herself and had the whole stuck-in-a-car-look going on to be met with two hot chickie babes immaculate resort casual. Zaftig knew that a trip to the bar was becoming urgent so she slipped into her resort casual like Wonderwoman into star spangled granny knickers and was soon looking hottest of all.

We hit the Moose Room and ordered cocktails. I myself had made the reservation from home via email and had had trouble getting a response until I added that the room booking was in the name of “Dr (Trisherina’s real name)”. Which got an instant response FFS. Which had the unexpected result of the waitress asking loudly which one of us was “Dr (Trisherina’s real name)”. Trisherina looked ready to kill me, I thought it was hilarious and Zaftig got clued into trisherina’s profession in an instant. The cocktails were as desired the food was great and trisherina picked a good Canadian wine. The waitress endeared herself to me by announcing that I would like the smoked salmon as “it comes arranged in a shape that looks a bit like Tasmania”. I’ve always considered that having my food arranged in the approximate shape of a small island state very important so I was immensely pleased. I also ate elk. It was steak-like. Zaftig offered to pay for dinner and to prove her keenness flung her bank card into her glass of water.

We then retired to the smoking room aka our log cabin. The Canadians are liberal but not that liberal yet. It was a non-smoking room so we made good use of the soap dish as an ashtray. Sufficiently and happily numbed against the cold and all pain we decided the bar might be the go and persuaded a surly bartender to supply us with more second drug of choice. Even more numb and happy we retired to the log cabin to tell ghost stories…….whoot!! Zaftig and I freaked each other out when she started to tell an eerie real life story revolving around the movie The Exorcist …..which I then finished for her having heard it elsewhere. I racked my brains for where I’d read it to no avail. I blame it on the elks. Can’t have been anything else…………

HA

HAHA

I told them about seeing Nellie the Nursing Home Ghost. Trisherina the Skeptic mumbled form under the bedclothes, “I don’t know how you can work there!” and Zaftig and I decided it would be polite if we also retired to bed. I found out afterward that Zaftig had had a bad dream and was then too afraid to go outside for a smoke in case an elk should wander up our pathway, up the steps to our cabin and gore her to death on the doorstep without waking us. Which on second thoughts, was quite likely………..


(^^ Work will get their accreditation. They just won't be getting it with my help.)
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Last edited by madasacutsnake : 05-05-2006 at 12:44 AM.
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Old 05-04-2006, 11:51 PM   #20
priceyfatprude
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Quote:
“it comes arranged in a shape that looks a bit like Tasmania”
MAPPATASSIE!!!!! Fish...in the shape...of mapatassie.

Outstanding. Do go on.
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Old 05-05-2006, 01:10 AM   #21
trisherina
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I think snake pronounced that it didn't look much like Tasmania at all. That was an amazing server non sequitur, though!
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Old 05-06-2006, 04:05 PM   #22
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hahahhaaaa I had no idea about the "I hope she's short" business!

Sim read the whole thing and he was in stitches the whole time. I kept asking him which part he was laughing at so finally he just read it out loud so I'd know.

I do agree, she was an exceptional server.
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Old 09-23-2006, 08:15 AM   #23
madasacutsnake
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Agh. I am so way behind.
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Old 09-23-2006, 12:05 PM   #24
Audreyvgs
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I would say so, seeing you are telling a story without ME in it!
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Old 09-23-2006, 04:48 PM   #25
priceyfatprude
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madasacutsnake
Agh. I am so way behind.
Just be kind. What happens at a restaurant just off the beach, stays @ the restaurant just off the beach.
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Old 09-24-2006, 05:25 AM   #26
madasacutsnake
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You all, including the monkey involved, have my word.
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Old 09-24-2006, 11:58 AM   #27
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I knew that, keep going.
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