ZEFRANK.COM - message board  

Go Back   ZEFRANK.COM - message board > FAST CHAT
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 6 votes, 5.00 average. Display Modes
Old 07-22-2005, 02:41 AM   #1
Max Headroom
monkey
 
Max Headroom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: 20 minutes in the future
Posts: 1,098
The worst joke in the world thread

A sandwich walks into a bar,

the bartender says, "get the f*** out, we don't serve food in here!"
__________________
Art takes something ugly and over time makes it beautiful,

Fashion takes something beautiful and over time makes it ugly.
Max Headroom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 03:03 AM   #2
priceyfatprude
girthy pickles
 
priceyfatprude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: under your desk
Posts: 9,313
Duck walks into a pharmacy & asks the pharmacist for some Chapstick.

The pharmacist asks, "Will that be cash?"

The duck says, "No, put it on my bill."
priceyfatprude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 05:38 AM   #3
trisherina
meretricious dilettante
 
trisherina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
Drunk looks up from his drink and asks the bartender woozily, "Do lemons have feathers?"

Bartender tells him no.

"I guess I must really be drunk, then, because I think I just squeezed your canary into my drink."
trisherina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 08:28 AM   #4
jasmina
monkey
 
jasmina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,617
A man walks into a fish shop with a fish under his arm and says “excuse me mate, do you sell fish cakes?”
The man says “yeah of course we do”

”Thank god for that,” he says, pointing at the fish,

”it’s his birthday tomorrow”
jasmina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 08:29 AM   #5
jasmina
monkey
 
jasmina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,617
Where does Kylie get her kebabs from?
Jason’s donner van
jasmina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 12:40 PM   #6
dinzdale
King of the špatnýs
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
A bra walks into a pub and the landlord says
"I'm sorry, but I cant serve you as you're obviously off your tits"
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 03:48 PM   #7
sparticle
Conspiracy Theorist
 
sparticle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: cleveland, oh
Posts: 4,702
A set of jumper cables walks into a bar.

"Drink all you like," said the bartender, "but don't start anything."
__________________
There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there."

-- trisherina
sparticle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 03:51 PM   #8
sparticle
Conspiracy Theorist
 
sparticle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: cleveland, oh
Posts: 4,702
Did you hear that the satellite dish married the TV antenna?

The wedding was awful but the reception was fantastic.
__________________
There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there."

-- trisherina
sparticle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 04:29 PM   #9
Max Headroom
monkey
 
Max Headroom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: 20 minutes in the future
Posts: 1,098
What to you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?




'elephino?!
__________________
Art takes something ugly and over time makes it beautiful,

Fashion takes something beautiful and over time makes it ugly.
Max Headroom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 04:49 PM   #10
dinzdale
King of the špatnýs
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?

Footprints in the butter.
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 04:54 PM   #11
lapietra
half baked
 
lapietra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: just ducky
Posts: 12,078
A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and , with a scowl, exclaims, "We don't serve your kind in here! Read the sign." The rope reads the sign to which the bartender is pointing and then, sulking, walks out of the bar.

Outside on the sidewalk, the rope is stricken with inspiration. Immediately he throws himself to the ground and begins writhing around. When he returns to his feet, he looks down with satisfaction at the large knot at his midsection. Then, with a wry smile he begins grabbing the threads at his head and feet and pulling them apart. That being done, he triumphantly walks back into the bar and plants himself on a stool right in front of the bartender.

When he again attempts to order a drink,the bartender snorts, "Hey, aren't you that rope I just threw out of here?" The rope replies, "No, sir. I'm a frayed knot."
__________________
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
lapietra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 04:57 PM   #12
dinzdale
King of the špatnýs
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
What's blue and white and if it fell out of a tree could kill you?



A fridge in a denim jacket.
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 04:58 PM   #13
dinzdale
King of the špatnýs
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
A man goes into the doctor with custard and jelly in one ear and fruit and cream in the other.

"And how can I help you sir?"

"Sorry doctor, you'll have to speak up. I'm a trifle deaf"
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 05:01 PM   #14
dinzdale
King of the špatnýs
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
Another man goes into the doctor with a sausage up his nose, bacon in his ear and egg yolk running down his forehead.

Doctor takes one look at him and says
"You're not eating properly"
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2005, 05:11 PM   #15
sparticle
Conspiracy Theorist
 
sparticle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: cleveland, oh
Posts: 4,702
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas but
there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not
surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino
chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have
devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all
their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and
then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

Of course, this is done by a chip monk.
__________________
There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there."

-- trisherina
sparticle is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -3. The time now is 04:22 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.