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Old 11-24-2006, 12:46 PM   #1
12"razormix
 
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entertain me!



write a story, an announcement, a complaint ... a limerick - anything
using as many cities as you can from this map and post a new map for the next person
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Old 11-24-2006, 03:21 PM   #2
craig johnston
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the bouncy castle tour of peru blog

day one: conima
phew, i'm knackered after blowing up three castles. the bloody pump
broke down (that was zero's job). lovely view of the lake from my
hut, shame about the llamas.

day two: moho
zero got chinned by a local for calling him a moho. that was the best
laugh of the day.

day three: pusi
zero got chinned by a local for calling him a pusi. that was the best
laugh of the day.

day four: huata
zero keeps going 'huata bout that?!'. he calls it a 'joke'. i am not
convinced. locals really digging on the castles, two kids hurt.

day five: puno
day off to take in the sights of this major cocaine producing town.
zero's gone missing. funkytuba disappeared into a house of fun.
now he's got a rash.
first edible meal of tour. later found out it was boiled rat.
next stop: plateria!
tbc....

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Old 11-25-2006, 04:21 AM   #3
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I know this wasn't what was intended, but if you turn the lake upsidedown and backwards, change a couple of colours, and add a nifty pair of shades, an interesting effect is reached. May I present... Super-Titicaca!

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Old 11-25-2006, 10:56 PM   #4
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We sailed out onto Lake Titicaca, but our map told us very little more than that. Why we didn't get a more informative map I don't know. Later on we realised that we'd been looking at it upside down, but it didn't really help and someone had been doodling on it anyway, so we sailed back to some town that we didn't know the name of. It was a super trip.



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Old 11-27-2006, 08:34 AM   #5
craig johnston
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cairo 6th october

professor fox met us at the station as arranged. he had thoughtfully coloured it red on the map, which he sent us by pigeon post as usual. resplendent in khaki shorts and pith helmet, the professor took us directly to the egyptian museum, where he regaled us with tales of the great king alcopop and his wife neferteatime. much impressed, we followed the doughty academic across the 6th october bridge, which, luckily, was open due to the date.
the papyrus institute was a disappointment, having disintegrated during a short shower the day before. however, we kept our spirits up by singing old bush songs that the professor taught us as we struggled through the crowds and traffic.
after visiting the world's largest wallaby collection at the zoo, we stopped for lunch at a little place run by an ex-student of our guide. the felafels are regarded as the best in all egypt and they certainly left their mark on our digestive systems.
our host was in fine form, expounding on australia's warm and close relationship with egypt, which dates back to the time tutankamun played cricket for newcastle under 16s, scoring 53 not out on his debut. as he was just about to explain how the tune of 'waltzing mathilda' was actually written by a coptic herdsman in the 14th century, he was shot in the back by a masked assassin, who shouted 'freedom for south austalia!' as she ran off into the crowd, leaving behind only this map:

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Old 11-28-2006, 02:23 AM   #6
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It was a little vague, and we tucked it away for safekeeping.
A trip to the emergency room was in order. Unfortunately, this hospital had everything but an emergency room.

The mural displays were especially pretty, and provided some wonderful photo opportunities.


There was also some confusion about who or what fox was, and they sent us on to a veterinarian.
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Old 11-28-2006, 01:43 PM   #7
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Wanting to get to the car park as soon as possible via the pedestrian entrance near the Ronald McDonald House, I found my self musing thankfully that I had not needed to visit the Neurosciences unit. While sitting in the Cash office after my ear nose and throat operation...boy was my head stuffed up prior to that...I noticed an unfamilliar bulge in my back pocket, and discovered that a map had been tucked away in there somehow. Now, I've never been to Australia, and I don't know much about the area, but based on the very vague map I assumed that Adelaide was THE place to visit, and resolved to go there just as soon as I completed my circumnavigation of Europe, Asia and Africa.
I heard my name being called by the checker at the cash window and pulled out my wallet and found nothing but Mexican Pesos inside, wrapped in THIS MAP:
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Old 11-28-2006, 05:13 PM   #8
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il coyote arrived at la paz dirty and tired. and mad. rude waitresses, dirty motels, gas stations, bookies and an endless string of expensive hookers had taken their toll.

'AYE, MI DIOS, LOS INOCENTOS! CERDOS MALDECIDOS!!!! LOS CRUCES Y LOS ENCINOS, DIVISADOROS!!!!!!! SANTA ISABEL AYUDA' he exclaimed and spat in the dust.


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Old 11-28-2006, 05:53 PM   #9
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^^^^^^
great streets!

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Old 11-29-2006, 09:14 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 12"razormix
the dark of frith street cinema. senior stremboli finds and fondles miss makik's knee. above ground, vigilant shut-eye for elsie, almost nodding off at 2pm alone in brewer street mansions, her bedsit glowing infrared. buzzz. the door. randolph writes up his diary: two tickets for the windmill theatre, twenty guineas each. supper at trattoria verde greek street, eight pounds each. breaths of air condense unseen on glasshouse tiles. let me touch her breasts in the cab. nothing more. no gratitude at all, says alf home from the sea, his toupee an open book. madame sosostris does embroidery. my secret vice she says and makes her fine surgical stitches the length of shaftesbury avenue.
~




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Old 11-29-2006, 10:10 AM   #11
trisherina
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Dear Mum and Dara:

Thank you so much for sending me to Christian Science Camp. Yesterday I got in a fight with Elvin and Dejon, who said that God created people and dogs. They don't seem to know much about evolution. They said that I don't believe in God but I told them I do, in the way of science.

Anyway, yesterday we went orienttering and I found a frog. He hopped away before I could catch him but maybe I will see him again. Pastor Tim and a Mountie in a red coat gave us a talk about not using drugs. I'm never going to smoke, because it's really hard to quit. Today we get to go horseback riding and I might get my turn on the flight simulater!

I'm going to go eat breakfast but give all my animals a hug for me. I will phone you on phone night.

Love,


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Old 11-30-2006, 11:30 AM   #12
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wilbur entered the holy spirit veterinary hospital through the main entrance carrying edgar, who was rolled up in a tight ball, in the palm of his hand. the gift shop beckoned with glittering gadgets and furry toys but wilbur moved on to the reception area.

"my hedgehog" he began and suddenly felt awkward. "edgar fell from the kitchen table this morning. he was sleepy. i think he broke his leg."

the receptionist glared at him through thick lenses, blinked once and bellowed "x-ray!". wilbur began "where.." and the bullfrog behind the glass panel pointed to her right "you have to get the form from the office first."

wilbur was afraid to ask any more questions. he entered the corridor behind the receptionist cubicle and there were two doors. he chose the door to his right. "can i help you?" "i need the form for the x-ray" wilbur said. "my hedgehog" "this is office 2b, you want office 2a!" the helpful girl behind the desk explained "across the hall".

he managed to get the 5-page x-ray form from office 2a and was looking around for a place to sit down and fill it out. behind the next set of doors was a staircase. edgar had started to sneeze and tried to hide under wilbur's armpit. wilbur sat down and fumbled for a pen.

...

Last edited by 12"razormix : 11-30-2006 at 11:55 AM. Reason: sudden dyslexia
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Old 11-30-2006, 11:48 AM   #13
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somewhere in the bird nursery a parakeet shrieked. 45 minutes later, wilbur was on his way to the x-ray room. he had filled out three whole pages of the form! an assistant in a white gown greeted wilbur. "have you been to new admissions?" wilbur felt insecure. "office 2a?" "no, you need office 3c, 'new admissions'. you have to register and they will give you a number."

luckily, new admissions was right next door! wilbur knocked politely. no answer. he tried the doorknob. the door was locked. just as wilbur tried to decide what to do next, the door of the large mammal ward flung wide open and what appeared to be a very large cat with no tail came running down the hall, followed by two assistants in light green gowns and wilbur thought he heard a rooster crow before the door was hastily shut again from the inside.
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Old 11-30-2006, 11:57 AM   #14
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Old 12-01-2006, 09:18 AM   #15
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emerging from identical huts they wondered if maybe it was luck or a talent for going naked that lets two bodies mingle with the lagoon till hands and eyes and even the lungs, are water. maybe it was a gift for transformation, this changing from children to swans at the waters edge, from swans to fish to waterweed. and maybe it was a pledge to gravity that had kept them sometimes wedded to the earth like twin steel poles. the way they could dive to prove the seabed before they could swim mid current, probe the mud amongst the wrecks with their fingers, claw up handfuls of pebbles and silt and clay. they had to know what solid ground was there while they drifted on, merging with the tide, taking their form from the water and making it theirs. in his dream he was sitting out at the edge of the water watching her wade towards him in the dark: in her dream he was replacing her eyes with nuggets of blue beach glass. waiting by the platform to step like herons out of the great deeps they wondered what they'd leave beneath the silt: footprints and tangles of hair that would sink forever, that thumb ring she'd once let fall through the streaming weeds might land and come to rest in a metal box they'd rediscover next time. diving for almost an hour they came up empty handed and yet remembering the car they'd watched sink and settle upside down. just like the bodies they would shed when they hoisted themselves onto the jetty.
~



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