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Old 12-01-2006, 09:49 AM   #16
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i have a dog, his name is scout
scout, my dog, is big and stout

almost always, without fail
scout ( you know.... the dog ) plays with his tail

my neighbour's hamster barks at cats
scout ( the dog ) collects fat gnats

my neighbour's dog is black and white
frankly, i don't give a shite

scout, my dog, plays with a ball
thank you, sir, that will be all

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Old 12-01-2006, 10:18 AM   #17
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Last edited by zero : 12-01-2006 at 12:34 PM.
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Old 12-06-2006, 10:46 AM   #18
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the noisy motor shook the small plane and otis was perspiring. he had not seen zelda in 4 years and 7 days and he was looking forward to see her again. zelda. he relished the sound of her name on his tongue. would she have grown older?

no, not his zelda. he looked at the map that she had sent him. he smiled, shook his head and imagined what the new cave would look like. she had told him that she was planning to paint it yellow (her favourite colour).

as he approached the landing strip, he noticed that she had painted the landing strip yellow as well. hell, that crazy bitch had painted the whole damn jungle a bright banana yellow!

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Old 12-06-2006, 12:47 PM   #19
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Thank you for the successful bid.
It is satisfactory. Shipping is combined.
An auction finishes, and an invoice is sent.

Best regards.

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Old 12-06-2006, 05:46 PM   #20
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brought to you courtesy of trisharama's drabble-matic

An Icy Occurrence

horace paced up and down the greenland igloo, jiggling his arse. his very good friend, mary sue, had arranged to meet him here on an iceberg. "i have something frozen to tell you," she had said. mary sue was late, which was very unlike her. any moment now, horace expected to see her bounce up, her numb bahoochie following on behind her and her blue eyes frosted over.

horace heard footsteps, but they seemed rather cold for a delicate and snowy girl like mary sue, whose tread was refridgerated. he turned around and found daphnie staring at him.

"what are you doing here?" daphnie said chitteringly. "i thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

horace had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so frozen stiffly. "mary sue asked to meet me here in baffin bay." as he gazed at daphnie, his bollocks began to throb, chilly and canadian.

"oh," daphnie said, frostbitingly. "I'll just go then."

"wait," horace said and caught daphnie by her toe. "i was wrong. i still love you. can you ever forgive me?"

"yes," daphnie said, smiling. they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like frogs on an alaskan icebound pool.

from behind a canadian snowdrift, mary sue watched with a thermal bumwarmer in her miserably saggy thermal pants. she took a list out of her earmuffs, and checked off "horace & daphnie". then, she slid off over the glaciers to help another bitterly cold man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the penguins from extinction at the north pole.



Last edited by zero : 12-06-2006 at 09:24 PM.
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Old 12-06-2006, 06:25 PM   #21
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From: Out Of Time

(transcribed from official songbook)

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Applicable copyright is implicit (Copyright R.E.M./Athens Ltd. for all R.E.M. originals).

Last edited by trisherina : 12-09-2006 at 11:57 AM. Reason: That HFox: what an imagination!
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Old 12-09-2006, 11:32 AM   #22
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There were many suspects in the strange case of the murder of Dr Zero. Initially I though Trisherina had done the deed in the Great Hall with the revolver, but that was not the case. Moving on I cornered madasacutsnake in the crypt and accused her of doing in him with some non-prescribed medication but again I was proven incorrect. Next on my list was a certain Craig Johnston, who had been lurking in the Temple with a candelabra, but he claimed it was for some kind of dance event later in the evening. Finally I moved onto the Vault there I correctly deduced the guilty party, it was 12''razormix who had done in Dr Zero in the most grisly fashion with a 12''razormix.

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Old 12-09-2006, 02:07 PM   #23
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LET THERE BE LIGHT "GOD" commanded, and promptly blew himself up in the Bang Bang. That is what happens when you let infants (gods, humans, monkeys...what have you) play with fire. It was inevitable, fate if you will. Nothing really divine about it actually. Since HE was the only entity in existance at the time, and actually a pretty farking tiny entity measuring less than 1x10-27th microns in size, it really isn't fair to think of him as a God at all...he was just the only energy in the system till he struck that match...the dumbass. Very shortly after the event occured, the vacuum around the event horizon sucked the torn and mangled shreds of HIS self outward at unbelievable speed (for that is the proper speed for a god to travel), the sub particles moved at such rapid rates that they created a plasmic glow lasting for 400,000 years as measured by our own time period phase rate. When the glow dimmed all became dark again till finally the new gods formed from the energized pieces of the OLD God...they were the first Stars...not to be confused with the celebrities we now call Stars on our miniscule planetoid. These were true MEGA-Stars...immense collections of matter destined for short and violent carreers as creators of Heavy Elements leading to the development of the galaxies of dust, gas, and the very elements making possible the planetoids WE now occupy...for a short time that is. For even now the Dark Forces seek to accelerate the expansion of our universe, which will lead to Vacuous forces assuming control of us, and will cause greater and greater space between the elements till no light will be able to travel between systems, or even brain cells, effectively isolating information to the point that no information exchange will be possible, and thus civilizations will no longer be possible. Witness even now the infant stages of this period as demonstrated by the willingness of OUR people to allow morons and simpletons to dictate policy in many of our civilizations...just part of the new phase of the universe.

Last edited by Coffee : 12-09-2006 at 02:12 PM.
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:31 PM   #24
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This is the most interesting thread I found by searching for the word "parakeet."

Let's see what happens now.
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Old 02-13-2008, 07:28 PM   #25
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to make something happen you, beryl, must
Originally Posted by razomrix
write a story, an announcement, a complaint ... a limerick - anything using as many cities as you can from the map above you and post a new map for the next person
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Old 04-06-2008, 10:22 AM   #26
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ken and libby went to see washington
washington, dc

boldly they decided to enter
enter the goddamn kennedy center

ken entered and began to shiver
began to shiver close to the potomac river

libby the dumb stupid tart
didn't know, didn't care for
no national museum of american art

foggy bottoms in waterside park
will happen to you if you stay after dark
stay after dark in waterside park

ken thought amazin
amazin the tidal basin
stood gazin at the amzain basin

leaving taking route 395
ken and libby managed to get out

please to entertain me:
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Old 04-06-2008, 12:04 PM   #27
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The original plan was to surprise John in his office. Hes been acting rather strange recently. Well, in the past three years. He seems to be avoiding me and every time I bring up the topic of engagement he mutters something incomprehensible and leaves for his office. This time I decided to confront him right there, so hed have nowhere to run. Except I couldnt find my way. I walked in circles in Drum Circle for a good hour until I found the door leading to Racketball. I quickly ran away from there, because all that loud, distressing noise was giving me a headache. I found myself in a theatre. I didnt know Johns office was connected with a hospital They were operating on a patient who was screaming, somewhat impatiently. In the room Free Weights I understood the categoric imperative, because I saw Free Willy one hundred and fifty consecutive times. I freed them all, through the window. When I wandered into Ping Pong Tables, I hit my hip several times. No one saw me, so it didnt count. In the Bowling Alley somehow I managed to throw myself instead of the bowling ball and as I was rolling I hoped nobody would be knocked down. Or up. Fortunately I got stuck in the middle. Just in time to catch sight of Johns office door. I opened it and thats where I found him. Well, them. In A Very Close Encounter. There was nothing to do or say. I headed silently for Stress Relief Jackhammer Area that I could recognise through the veil of my tears and I realised what a jackass Id been Altough, in fact I did surprise John in his office, and that was the original plan.

The map is a bit biggish. Sorry.

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Old 04-06-2008, 12:49 PM   #28
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Passing through the family room, rubbing lotion into her hands, Owen's mother peered over his shoulder at the laptop screen.

"Whatchoo got here, Owen? A Beast Farm? Anghel Waterfall? Why'd they misspell Angel?" She extended a finger smelling strongly of lavender toward the screen, and Owen edged away slightly, not wanting her to touch and leave a smear.

"It's not misspelled, it's a fairly common Romani--"

"Monster Race Track, now I could do with a bit of that," she mused. "What's with this Shadow of the Mother Tree?" Her eyes narrowed. "Did you put that in, Owen? Put it in to mock me?"

"No, of course not. There's a legend about it in the game. It's very moving." Their eyes met. She straightened up abruptly, rubbing the small of her back.

"Moving, eh. Well, you'd best tear yourself away from the Ice Queen's Castle and all of that and get moving yourself. The leaves aren't blowing themselves off the lawn, you know."

"I know," he replied, but she was already through the doorway.

Now please entertain me:

Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard
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Old 04-08-2008, 12:34 AM   #29
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"Next up, what are you doing to protect your home from the
bizarre weather headed our way? Meteorologist Lance Glassly takes
a look at the 24-hour Doppler radar for precipitation patterns in
your area, plus we'll talk to local grocers about what to stock up on,
and what to do with all those massive amounts of condiments after
these messages----"

They don't know the half of their problems, Lisette thought
as she abruptly snapped off the TV and ambled into the
kitchen to check on the barbeque hot dog pieces bubbling
sluggishly in the crock pot. As she lifted the lid to stir, she
caught a glimpse of several translucent sprites escaping with
the steam, so she decided to tone them down with a little
sugar and absinthe. She wanted it to pack a wallop, but if it
gained too much altitude too fast from the carbonation they
caused, the high trade winds would carry it all to the next
town, and all her plans would be ruined.

Here's one:
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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